Shoebox of Lies
by GirlX2
Summary: The Sequel to 'So Lifelike', where Jack comes to the real world in the body of an action figure. Now, Jack and his friend Dana are reunited, but this time Jack isn't alone...NO CannonOC pairings.
1. Chapter 1

"Shoebox of Lies"

By GirlX2

Okay, here it is! The long awaited sequel to 'So Lifelike!' (And if you haven't read that, you're screwed.) I want to thank everyone who supporeded me during the last fic, and kept on me to get this one done. :p Enjoy!

Chapter One

-

It had been the longest four weeks of Jack Sparrow's life. The Pirate Captain had finally gathered all the things from the different Caribbean islands that Tia Dalma said she needed to enact her spell.

Jack watched anxiously as the Voo-doo woman boiled something in a red clay pot.

"You're _sure _you remember her clearly? Dat's very important Jack." She asked him.

"I'm sure. I spent half a week with her that I'm not going to forget anytime soon." Jack replied, somewhat insulted.

"Well, if your memory was at all impaired, say from dat rum you're always drinkin-"

"I remember Dana perfectly well!" Jack cut her off.

"Alright den."

-

Dana lay in her bed, staring into the darkness. The last four weeks had been rough on her. She'd gotten the splint off her ankle, and the bruises she'd sustained in the accident had finally faded, but her emotional state was still a wreak. Jack's sudden departure had caused her more than a few sleepless nights. Matt had helped her to remain hopeful that he was alright, but even her boyfriend could only do so much.

Dana curled around the lavender-scented teddy bear Matt had given her. She snuggled it, wishing very hard that Matt could be there to comfort her.

'If I could only know Jack was alright…'

-

" 'Ow is this going to work? I won't do it if it'll harm her in any way." Jack crossed his arms.

"I've prepared all de appropriate ingredients, but you'll have to do the actual work, since you're de one who knows 'er." Tia Dalma said, stitching the last seam on the small linen doll in her hands. "If you just do as I say she'll be fine."

"So she'll be…that."

"Yes."

Jack gave her a skeptical look. "If the same thing hadn't happened to me I'd say it was a load of rot."

"Yes, well, you know its not." She said.

Jack looked over the foot-high doll critically. It was blank of any defining features save two tiny stitches of pink thread that resembled an open mouth. It was clothed in a dress resembling Tia Dalma's, only slightly less flamboyant. Yarn hair spilled from its head.

"It doesn't look like her."

"It don't need to look like her, since we're doin' dis de wrong way round." Tia Dalma rolled her eyes. "Can ya just trust me Jack?"

"I suppose."

"You should just be happy I found a way to alter the spell so two way travilin' is intended. Dat's not how it is supposed to work."

"Aye, I am."

"And if dis is just so you can have another girlfriend-"

"I'm doing this because she needs to know I'm safely back." Jack held up a warning finger, challenging the woman to disagree. "I wouldn't dream of comprising her. Not to mention she's very clearly in love with this annoying Whelp."

"Of course. Now, where's de blood?"

"Blood?" Jack said blankly.

"De fresh blood of a virgin. Dats de most important part!"

'Err…"

Tia Dalma sighed. "Ya didn't get it, did ya?"

"Not as I can recall." Jack said airily.

"Well I can't do dis wit' out it." She replied.

"Exactly how fresh are we talking here, love?"

"De fresher it is de better off she'll be."

Jack thought this over a moment. "Wot if I could get the virgin to spill blood here?"

"Dat would be the best. But who-"

"Just leave that to me." Jack grinned his golden smile.

-

Will studied the sword that lay across his palms. The tang was good, the balance nearly perfect, and the gilt inlay-while totally unnecessary-was beautiful.

"It's a good sword lad." A familiar voice rumbled behind him. "Still to busy making them to properly woo the fair lady Elizabeth?"

Will spun around.

"Jack!"  
The infamous captain was leaning against the dirty stone wall. He gave a mock bow. "None other, young Turner. 'Ow's my favorite blacksmith?"

"What are you doing here?" Will demanded. "I didn't risk my life freeing you from the noose for you to come waltzing back into Port Royal!"  
"Its all right." Jack held up his hands. "I've been traveling under cloak of night. No one knows I'm here."

"_Why _are you here?" Will asked, desperate to get rid of the pirate. "If its another curse, you can go and-"

"Its nothing of the sort. If you'd be so good as to accompany me back to the Pearl I'll gladly tell you what's going on." Jack said. "And I promise it'll be worth your while to hear the tale."

"And then you'll leave me alone?" Will asked desperately.

"On my honor." Jack replied, his hand to the heavens.

Will squinted suspiciously, but nodded. He placed the sword back into its case, and placed his own in its holster.

Something told the blacksmith he'd need it.

-


	2. Chapter 2

"Shoebox of Lies"

By GirlX2

Chapter Two

-

'Another day, another dollar lost.' Dana mused as she walked to her car.

The four weeks she'd needed to recuperate had apparently been to much for her employers so they'd let her go. She was starting her fall classes at college, and (thankfully) had enough money saved to get through the semester.

'Long enough to get another gig, probably.' She slid into the passenger seat of her 'new' used car.

Still, Jack niggled at the back of her mind. After homework, after Matt, after the various dreams and nightmares, the smiling pirate remained a fixture.

Her cell phone jangled as she pulled onto the road.

"Yeah?" She flipped it open.

"What are you doing this weekend?" A familiar voice intoned.

"Mare? Are you coming in?" Dana's dark mood began to lift.

"Yep, Charlie is coming in to see his folks and I'm coming with." The voice of Marissa, Dana's best friend, escalated to its usual squeak of delight.

"That's AWSOME! We can go to the renaissance festival." Dana grinned.

"Exactly my thoughts. I'll be in late tonight," Marissa continued. "And, per usual, I'm crashing with you."

"Good thing I'm free." Dan replied happily.

"Hey, I think Alyssa is back for the festival too." Marissa hinted.

"Okay, I'll call her and see if she's free tonight too." Dana grinned.

"And that's why you're my social secretary." Marissa joked.

Marissa had moved to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan almost a year ago, and she hadn't been able to come down since for a visit. Now, with her classes scheduled sporadically, and her job canned, Dana had _plenty _of free time to devote to a weekend visit.

"I'll see you tonight." Dana replied. The teen continued on, her mood lighter than it had been for almost a month.

-

It had taken all day for Jack to get the Pearl (not to mention Will) back to Tia Dalma's island. The aforementioned blacksmith was currently passed out in Jack's cabin, partially due to rum and partially due to some special powders Tia Dalma had provided. Gibbs was in on the plan to 'borrow' the blacksmith, but the rest of the crew was oblivious. Jack had, in fact, dumped most of them at Tortuga, figuring on getting more crewmen later. For the moment, his only goal was to get the matter at hand dealt with (a unusually specific goal for the captain).

"I don't like voluntarily dabbling in all this black magic Jack." Gibbs said quietly as Jack was at the helm. "Its not…"

"Natural? Religious? Normal? Take your pick Mr. Gibbs, I'm none of those things." Jack replied.

"Aye, that be true."

"And as I've told you before, I'm not doing this for myself. I'm doing this to put a young woman's mind at ease."

"Of course you are." Gibbs tone belied the words.

"Why does everyone say it like _that_?" Jack demanded.

"You're not know for doing things for the sake of others Jack. Especially when there's nothing for you to gain."

Jack frowned slightly at this. "Well, this is a one-time thing."

"Aye."

'I'm doing this _strictly _for her.' Jack thought stubbornly.

'And the idea of seeing what may be your second ever platonic female friend has nothing to do with it?' His inner voice questioned. 'And perhaps getting a little revenge on the Whelp?'

Jack didn't bother to reply.

-

Marissa had gotten all the way to the southern part of Michigan without a hitch (except getting stuck behind a train at one point). After the three girls had a joyous reunion Mare and Alyssa fallen asleep shortly after getting to the house, but Dana couldn't blame them.

'She did drive eight hours.' She thought, throwing blankets over the other teens. "And Alyssa had work all day."

Alyssa was sprawled over the green leather loveseat. Her dirty blond hair was still in the renaissance snood she'd show them. She was taller than the other girls, bust still with a curvy build. Marissa was the shortest of the trio, just over five feet. She had fallen asleep on the couch. Dana removed the other teen's glasses slowly, and set them down next to hers on the bedside table.

'Eh, one more night I get the bed to myself.' Dana flopped into the waterbed, shortly followed by Delia. 'Ourselves.' She scratched the Dalmatian's head for a moment. Delia grumbled at her and curled into a ball.

"Good dog."

-

"And you sure he's a virgin?" Tia Dalma asked skeptically.

"Amongst other things." Jack replied.

"Alright den."

Gibbs watched uneasily from the other side of Tia Dalma's home in the swamp. Magic had always unnerved him, and after his recent encounter with undead pirates, he wasn't pleased with Jack's plan to use _black _magic to contact this…_girl_.

'Black magic is worst type o' the lot.' He thought, watching Tia Dalma drop several suspicious things into the mixture.

Will (still unconscious) was slumped in a nearby chair. One arm was hanging limp over a silver basin. Slowly, the voo doo witch drew an ornate gold dagger down the arm. A thin trickle of blood began to drip into the basin.

"How long are you going to leave him like that?" Gibbs spoke up hesitantly.

"I don' need much." Tia Dalma replied. "He'll never miss it."

Jack watched the proceedings intensely.

"When do I-"

"I'll _tell _ya when you've got to do your bit." She cut him off.

Finally, Tia Dalma took the basin away.

"Gibbs, would you bandage 'im?" She said, not really asking.

"Uh…Aye." Gibbs replied, taking up the strips of clean linen she'd gotten.

Slowly, she tipped the basin over the black pot. The mixture inside changed from a murky green to the clearest amber.

"Now Jack. And be careful, because dat stuff is very potent." She prodded the pirate.

"Oh." Jack gulped and picked up the small pot.

'I _must not _mess this up.' He thought as he carefully poured some of the mixture into a tiny glass bottle.

'You'd just better hope Dana's in a good position to be snatched away.' His inner voice put in.

'Hadn't thought of that.' Jack admitted and set the bowl down onto the roughly hewn wooden table.

'Oh well, too late now.' The voice said cheerfully.

'Thanks.' Jack scowled slightly.

"Now pick up de effigy." Tia Dalma instructed.

"The _wot_?"

"De _doll_, Jack."

"Ah."

Jack did so, the doll now in one hand and the tiny bottle in the other.

"Here goes." Jack tipped the bottle over the figure's mouth.

-


	3. Chapter 3

"Shoebox of Lies"

By GirlX2

Chapter Three

Thanks for all the great reviews everone!

-

Dana stretched out, having woken early from her slumber. This was nothing unusual, even on the best of nights. The covers were lying strangely over the legs though. Unseeingly, she reached to move them.

When her fingers connected with beads, she opened her eyes.

The slightly blurry outline of what appeared to be a dress met her eyes.

"Oh…Kay…" She said slowly, reaching one hand for the bedside table and her glasses.

The dress appeared, as least to her impaired vision, like an old time-y noblewoman's dress. Her feet were bare. Slowly, she sat up.

"My glasses." She stared at the empty patch where the table should have been. "For that matter, my bed." She appeared to be lying on a large wooden platform.

Dana closed her eyes, hand to her forehead. "Okay, you're just having a weird dream. This is what happens when you stay up watching 'Terror Toons' and 'This is Spinal Tap!'"

"I don't know about that, love." An unseen voice interjected.

Shock jackknifed though her heart. Has she not been sitting, she would have fallen to her knees.

"Jack?" Her voice trembled slightly.

"Yes."

As tears began to trickle down her face, she shut her eyes again.

"Thank God." She whispered. "I thought…well, you can guess what I thought."

"Aye. That's why I, ah…felt we should meet again."

The way he'd said that struck a chord somewhere in Dana's mind.

"Um…before we have a 'joyous reunion' moment, can you tell me what's happing? I can't see anything." She opened her eyes again to the blurry unfamiliar shapes around her.

"Wot!"

"My glasses seem to have disappeared." She replied.

"Oh right, I forgot about them." Jack sounded relieved.

"Ya didn't tell me she wore glasses." Another voice cut in.

"Who's that?" Dana got up quickly. Her glances around the room didn't revel much to her weak eyes. She could make out a lot of large, somehow familiar shapes, but nothing definite.

"Jack, you'd better tell her what's going on." A familiar third voice cut in.

"Oh good God, tell me that wasn't who I think it was." Dana groaned. A theory was beginning to take hold in her mind, and if it was correct…

"Now, Dana, Love, I don't want you to get upset-"

"Ohh, I'm getting way past 'upset' Jack."

"But I wanted you to know I was alright, and the only way to do that was to…do it the other way round." Jack trailed off for a moment.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning you had to come to us."

"I had to-WHAT!" Dana yelled.

"This was all his idea, if you'd like someone to blame." The voice Dana identified as Gibbs put in.

"That was uncalled for Mr. Gibbs."

"Where and WHEN am I Jack?" Dana felt blood rising to her cheeks.

"The year of our Lord sixteen hundred and eighty seven. As to where you are, this is the home of my dear friend, Tia Dalma."

"You had Tia Dalma bring me here?" Dana said, mouth going dry.

'Jack isn't supposed to see her for months! Oh God, I'm wreaking the movie's continuity!' She thought, horrified.

" 'Ow did you figure she did it? You said you only knew the events of a few days of my life, and she wasn't in them." Jack said slowly.

"That's not important!" Dana yelled, trying to change the conversation's direction. "You've just…just…well, basically kidnapped me three hundred years into the past!"

"Yes, but only because I didn't want you to worry." Jack sounded hurt. He hadn't expected this.

"Just tell me one thing." She said, her teeth clenched. "Who's body am I currently in?"

"It's not a 'who' exactly…"

"Okay, what then? How big am I?" Dana groaned inwardly. She'd read all the 'Indian in the Cupboard' books multiple times in her youth, and didn't like the resemblance they bore to her current situation.

"Well, you're bigger than I was."

"How much?"

"Almost twice as tall." Jack admitted.

Dana made a few quick calculations.

"Oh good lord, I'm 'Seventeenth Century Barbie'!" She wailed, sinking back to the rough wood of what she assumed was a table. "This is a nightmare. It's like a Mary-Sue wet dream."

"Please love, I didn't just do this on a whim. We've got every means to send you home as soon as you want." Jack tried to cheer her up.

"Well, at least you're not spouting off about unrequited love and that junk." She tried to get her emotions under control. "You're not out of character, so this can't be a bad dream."

"Is she speaking English?" Gibbs half whispered to Tia Dalma.

"Aye, but I suspect the language may have changed in the last three hundred years!" She hissed back.

"Well," Dana stood up, "As long as I'm here I may as well see you. Where are you?"

"Right here." Jack's face slowly fuzzed into view as he drew closer.

She smiled slightly. "Even better than the theater."

"I should hope so. I'm real." Jack replied. He extended a hand to her. "May I?"

"Um…"

"I'm not going to drop you."

"I know, its just…weird."

"If I may remind you of how quickly you took to carting _me _around when our positions were switched-"

"Alright already." She shook her head. "Just be careful."

As Jack's fingers went around her waist she could feel the wide metal bands of his rings press against her spine. Slowly, her feet left the floor.

'I'm going to go slowly, and be exceedingly careful, so I don't accidentally-'

"Oh!"

The sharp gasp startled the pirate out of his concentration.

'Good lord, she's only been here two minutes and I've already managed to hurt her.' He set her back down. "I didn't mean to-"

"No, that was a good 'oh'." Dana cut him off. "You cracked my back."

"I…wot?" Jack said, confused.

"My spine is twisted and needs to be adjusted or 'cracked' sometimes to feel better." Dana explained. "Which is what you just did. Well, your rings anyway."

Relief coursed though him. "Oh. I thought…well, my fingers aren't as deft as yours when it comes to handling a small object."

"Object?" She quirked an eyebrow at him.

"You knew what I meant." Jack said moodily, picking her back up.

"Are you going to introduce us at _all_?" Tia Dalma cut in, annoyed.

"Of course. Dana, this is Mr. Gibbs, my first mate, and Tia Dalma my…very good friend."

Dana watched as the two slowly came into focus.

"Pleased to meet you." She extended a hand, unable to think of anything else to do.

"Good evening to ya, Miss Braxton." Tia Dalma took gently it between her index finger and thumb.

"Ah…likewise." Gibbs was looking rather uncomfortable.

"You've forgotten someone Jack." The voice of Will Turner cut in.

As Jack turned toward the blacksmith, he found a sword at his throat.

-


	4. Chapter 4

"Shoebox of Lies"

By GirlX2

Chapter Four

Thanks for wonderful, encouraging reviews everyone. I really needed them today, as I'm feeling a little down. I got visciously attacked on my first few posts on a new messageboard (one I will NOT be going back to). Then I got attacked by more people for complaining. Anyway, I thought posting the next chapter would cheer me up, so here it is. Enjoy!

-

The enraged expression on Will's face was somehow more frightening than the sword at his throat. Jack took a slow breath.

"Good to see you're awake Will."

"What did you do to me? What is that _thing_?" Will demanded.

"She is not a _thing_." Jack shot back.

Dana remained quiet, afraid of saying something that would make the Blacksmith angrier. Jack could feel her trembling in his hand.

"Take it easy now, Mr. Turner." Gibbs held his hands up. "We can act like gentlemen about this."

"You're pirates, since when can you act like gentlemen?" Will snapped, not taking his eyes off the Captain.

"Quite right." Jack said. "Which is why I propose we-"

"No proposals Jack." Will pressed the blade against Jack's throat, almost drawing blood. "You're not going to talk your way out of this. Now, why did you kidnap me and take my blood…again?"

"Kidnap is a strong word. You got onto the ship willingly." Jack pointed out.

"Fine. Since you seem to care so little for your own safety-"

The sword left Jack's throat and was pointed at a new target.

"-Perhaps you'll tell me the truth for _it_."

Even with her bad eyes Dana could see the massive blade pointed at her.

"Jack-"

"It's alright." His fingers gave her waist a reassuring squeeze. "If you want me to be completely honest Will-"

"I'm not sure you're even capable of that, but continue."

"This is my friend Dana, who happens to be from the future. I was accidentally sent to said future and took residence in her doll, and she watched over me until Tia Dalma and Gibbs managed to retrieve me, but I'd left so suddenly and dramatically that Dana was worried, so we brought her here. In order to do that, we needed the blood of a virgin, I.E. you, and that's why I needed your blood, savvy?"

Will blinked in confusion. "Am I supposed to believe that?"

"What other explanation would there be for a human so tiny if they were not originally a doll?" Jack pointed out.

"That thing could be a demon conjured up by that Voodoo witch. Seems very likely in fact." Will replied.

"I am not a witch." Tia Dalma growled.

"And I'm not a demon!" Dana spoke up. "I'm a Baptist."

Will glared at her. "Be quiet, whatever you are."

"I liked you better as Legolas." Dana grumbled under her breath.

"So if you'd be so kind as to take the blade AWAY from the helpless young woman you're threatening?" Jack said coldly.

"I don't believe you." Will growled. "Get rid of it. Now. Send it back to the 'future'."

"If he does, will you leave him alone?" Dana demanded. "Because if you're going to fight anyway, I'll just stick around."

Will ignored her. "Does it understand what it's saying or is it like a parrot?"

"May I remind you Mr. Cotton's parrot is quite intelligent." Jack replied. "And call her 'it' one more time-"

"Jack, just send me home." Dana cut in. "Its not worth it."

"But you've only just got here!" Jack argued.

"You can get me back later. Just make sure its late at night, so I'll be home and nobody freaks out." Dana said.

"Alright." Jack said after a moment, giving Will a furious glare. "But only because Will is being such a git."

Will pulled the blade back slightly. "Get rid of it and then we'll talk."

Jack carefully set her back down, this time next to the basin containing the rest of the potion.

"I guess it'll be a while before I see you again?" Dana asked sadly.

"About a month until its safe." Jack said, reaching over her for the tiny bottle.

What Will saw was a different story. Jack seemed to lunged for some hidden object that the confused blacksmith assumed was a weapon. Familiar with Jack's fighting style, he parried the oncoming thrust.

A thrust that was never there.

Everyone but Jack and Dana could see the blade plunge into the Captain's back. The pirate gave a gasp and his face went white. Slowly he leaned forward and collapsed onto the table. Dana let out a scream.

"Oh God, what have I done?" Will cried out and lunged forward, hitting the table. The basin's contents sprayed wildly as things were jarred into falling.

"Back!" Tia Dalma's arm slammed the nearest person (which happened to be Gibbs) into the wall. The first mate could only watch as Jack and Will collapsed onto the floor, their bodies presumably crushing Dana's tiny form.

"He's killed them both." Whispered Gibbs.

"Perhaps not." She whispered back.

-


	5. Chapter 5

"Shoebox of Lies"

By GirlX2

Chapter Five

-

Dana sat up, gasping for air after the scream. The familiar darkness of her room greeted her. She shook her head.

"It was just a-"

A sneeze cut her off.

"…Hello?" She said after a moment.  
"Why sneeze am I covered in dust?" A familiar voice called out.

"Jack!" Dana leapt from the bed, upsetting both a wire shelving unit and her dog. She scrabbled around both for the light switch and her glasses. After a few frantic moments, she managed to get them.

There, standing atop the side of the wine crate 'bedroom', was a very dusty Jack Sparrow.

"Why am I covered in dust?" He demanded again, brushing himself off.

Dana blushed slightly. "Well, after you disappeared, I didn't really…do much with the doll. I couldn't even look at it."

"Alright, I understand that. But how did we get back here?" He blinked at her, trying to adjust to the sudden bright light.

"I don't know." Dana replied, just as confused. "The last thing I saw was you falling onto the table."

Jack expression twisted. "Will stabbed me in the back. Literally."

"What!"

"I'm going to kill him." Jack drew his sword.

"Good luck with that since he's probably in the sixteen hundreds." Dana replied.

"You're right." Jack deflated slightly at this. "You don't even have a doll of him."

"Actually, I-" Dana stopped in mid sentence. Her face grew ashen. "Oh God!"

Before Jack could respond, the teenager was flying across the room, stopping only to grab a decorative dagger from the wall. She threw herself to the ground and began digging thought a mound of clothing.

"Where is it!" She shrieked.

"Where's what?" Jack called, jumping from the box to the dresser top.

Dana didn't reply. She continued to throw things aside until…

"Got it!" She lifted the dagger high and plunged it into an unseen object. Jack could hear the metal squeal against something. Shards of some clear substance began to fly as she ripped though the object. A final sheet of the material was discarded and she stopped her frantic rampage.

"Wot is going on?" Jack roared.

She gave him a tired look. "The end of my life as I know it."

-

Gibbs carefully laid the doll on the up righted table.

"Ya don' need to be delicate, it can't feel anyting." Tia Dalma snapped. "Help my wit Jack."

"But…he's dead." Gibbs said.

"No he's not, but he will be if I don't get him stitched up." She replied, gesturing to the wound.

For all intents, Jack did appear to be dead. His breathing was barely noticeable and he was clearly unconscious. Tia Dalma had laid him out on his stomach.

"We've been over dis before Gibbs. Jack is fine, and most likely wit Dana in the future."

"What about him?" Gibbs replied hesitantly, pointing to Will, who was in the same state as Jack. He lay sprawled across the floor. Both men were partially covered in what appeared (but Gibbs knew better) to be drying rum.

"Dere's nothing' I can do for im right now." Tia Dalma replied. "Now get me dat needle on the shelf."  
Gibbs obliged. "Uh…you know what you're doing there?"

She gave him a patronizing stare.

"I'm just asking."

"We'll talk about it AFTER I get Jack stitched up. If his body does die, his soul will be lost to us forever."

"Right then, carry on."

-

Jack could hardly contain his glee. Below him, Will Turner was tied to a huge board and still unconscious.

"I _just _bought the Will figure and I never opened the pack!" Dana lamented, picking up the cardboard backing with her free hand (Jack occupied the other) and transporting them both to the bed. "He could have suffocated in there!"

"Yes and what a tragedy _that _would have been." Jack replied sarcastically. "Then I couldn't kill him myself."

"Jack, I can't let you hurt him." Dana sighed.

"Why the bloody hell not? HE TRIED TO KILL _ME_!"  
"Because I can't."

"You and your bloody _morals_…"

"Well, it's going to be a pretty bad punishment as it is. You'd better explain things to him while I'm out of sight. I'd rather not have him screaming and being unnecessarily terrified of a 'giant demon.'"

"Right you are. Just vacate the premises and leave everything to me." Jack's eyes sparkled.

"I don't think so." Dana untwisted the plastic bands and pulled Will off the cardboard backing. She scanned the room slowly.

"What can I…ah ha!" She grabbed the empty metallic wastebasket from the floor and placed it over Will, forming an effective, if large, cage.

"There. You can explain everything to him while he's in there and nobody will get hurt."

"I am overwhelmed with joy." Jack said flatly.

"Actually, to be on the safe side-" Dana pinched Jack's sword and lifted Will's from its scabbard. "-I'll just hang onto these."

"Dana, give me my sword." Jack's voice had gone quiet.

"I'm just taking it until you and Will-"  
"Now Dana." The barely restrained anger in Jack's voice showed though. "We both know you're able to basically control me while I am here, but I will not let you take my effects away as if I were a child."

Wordlessly Dana handed the sword back. Jack could see tears forming in her eyes.

"Love, I'm sorry, but you do tend to forget I'm a grown man." Jack said, his tone a good deal kinder than before.

Dana nodded, blinking back the tears. "Yeah, I know you're right."  
A few uncomfortable moments passed until a groan broke the silence. Will was coming to.

"I'd better get out of the way." Dana stepped toward the door.

"Alright, but don't go to far. Knowing Will, I'll have to prove what's going on." Jack replied. "Why no one ever believes me I'll never know."

"Um, Pirate."

"Ah."

Dana unclicked the latched that served as her doorknob. "I just hope he won't-"

The door bashed into something solid.

"OW! Son of a-"

"Shh, you'll wake up Dana's parents!"

"But it hurt!"

As the door swung free, it revealed Mare and Alyssa.

-


	6. Chapter 6

"Shoebox of Lies"

By GirlX2

Chapter Six

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! I may take a week or two off to celebrate, but never fear! Come January the story WILL be updated!

-

"Oh…uh…hi." Mare managed. Alyssa was rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"What did you hear?" Dana's eyes were open wide.

"At first? Just the scream. We thought maybe Matt had come over, and you two were...Yeah."

"WHAT!"

"Al, hush!" Mare hissed. "Um, we thought you had a _bad dream_."

Dana quickly exited the room and shut the door.

"Okay, then why were you listening outside my door, pervs?" She hissed.

"We heard what sounded like a male, but _suspiciously familiar_, voice." Alyssa replied.

"You're not…cheating on Matt, are you?" Mare asked skeptically.

"WHAT?" Dana yell-whispered. Her face was beginning to turn an unpleasant red color.

"Yeah, I didn't think so." Mare replied quickly.

"So who's in there?" Alyssa pressed.

"Not someone I'd ever date." Dana groaned. "Listen, if you two promise not to freak out, I'll tell you what's going on."

-

Will awoke to Jack's grim grin.

"Hello Will."

"Jack? You're alright?" Will said, shocked.

"Aye."

"Thank the Lord." Will sighed in relief.

"Yes I'm well, and fully able to hurt you in many spectacular ways." Jack growled.

Will looked more calm than he should have about this. "You're right Jack. I attacked you. Feel free to retaliate."

"Eh…wot?"

"I stabbed you without provocation." Will shook his head. "And you have every right to return the favor."

"Er…yeah…" Jack replied, confused. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

"I won't fight back." Will got onto his knees and bent his head down.

"Um…" Jack was caught completely off guard. He hadn't planned on Will being sorry!

'You can't just cut him up when he's sorry!' His conscious burst in.

'Wot am I supposed to do then?'

'How about a few shoulder punches?'

Jack sighed aloud. 'Curse my conscious…'

Rolling his eyes, he reached through the metal slats and boxed Will's ears.

"OW!" Will yelped, falling onto his rear.

"Right then. Think about that the next time you distrust me." Jack replied.

"Yes." Will replied, rubbing his ears. "Where are we? I know its not a proper jail, or you'd be in here as well."

"No, it's not a proper jail. It's not even a proper cage." Jack shrugged. "But she did the best with what was on hand."

"She?"

"Dana. Or 'it' as you so charmingly referred to her back at Tia Dalma's…" Jack said.

"Oh…" Will looked like he was going to be sick. "So, she wasn't a trick?"

"No, I'm afraid not." Jack replied. "And you, dear William, had better apologize to her when she comes back, or I _will _give you a sound beating."

"Yes, of course." Will said hurriedly. "She wasn't injured?"

"No, and you may thank your lucky stars for that Will, or I would have killed you." Jack replied humorlessly. "But, back to your original question, we are in Dana's bedroom."

Will's brow furrowed. "But…this room is very large."

"Well, no, not exactly. The room is not so large, as we are very small."

"What do you mean?" Will asked slowly.

"Remember how big Dana was?"

"Yes..."

"Well-"

"We're only _that _big?" Will inturrupted, panicked.

"No, of course not." Jack replied.

The blacksmith sighed in (slight) relief.

"We're only _half _that big." Jack grinned.

"WHAT?" Will screamed.

"Don't be like that, it's your fault."

"MY-"

"Aye, when you _stabbed _me you caused to me to fall and spill the magic potion Tia Dalma had cooked up to bring Dana to us and send her back to her own time. I figure that's why we've all come to the year two thousand and six." Jack replied.

"…Oh God." Will slumped onto the green comforter. His complexion had gone the same color.

"Shall I call her back in so you can apologize?" Jack asked smugly.

Will shook his head. "I think I need a few moments to take this all in."

"Of course mate." Jack waited for exactly two seconds. "DANA!"

"Jack!" Will looked horrified.

"Well that's how long a moment lasts. Look it up." Jack shrugged.

The door rattled for a few moments, before Dana came in. Will gaped at the gigantic figure. Dana ignored him for the moment, and removed the 'latch' from the door, making it inoperable from the outside.

"That oughta stave them off for a few minutes." She muttered.

"Wot's going on?" Jack replied warily.

"Uh, nothing." Dana lied obviously. Jack pretended not to notice.

"Sh-she-" Will stammered.

"Oh. He's up?" Dana glossed over Will's stammerings.  
"Yeah, and I believe he has something to say to you." Jack prodded the blacksmith.

"S-s-sorry." Will squeaked. His face had gone from sickly green to terrified white.

"Uh, yeah, thanks." Dana said, obviously preoccupied.

"Okay Love, what's really going on?"

"I may have some company staying over." She replied after a moment.

"Oh lord." Muttered Jack. "I had really hoped I wouldn't have to hideout at the Whelp's house again."

"Well then, I have good news. You're staying here."

"But what if they should find us?"

"Yeah, about that…" Dana looked guilty as hell. "They already know."

"WOT!"

"It's okay, Marissa and Alyssa are my best friends in the world, and also huge fans of you and…Will." At that, Dana looked troubled. Will was still frozen in terrified shock.

"Will has fans too? You never told me that." Jack looked a little hurt.

"It never came up." Dana said airily.

"Hrumph." Jack crossed his arms in a pout.

"Okay, not the issue. Now, do you want to meet them before they break down the door or what?"

"Eh, yeah, I guess so. But wot about…?"

"Will, do you mind being in here by yourself for a moment?" Dana asked gently. Will made no sign that he had heard her. "Alright then."

She picked Jack. "Now, be nice. They've promised to keep all fangirlish squealing and drooling to a minimum.

"Joy abounding." Jack replied, hiding his nervousness as Dana opened the door.

-


	7. Chapter 7

'Shoebox of Lies'

Chapter Seven

By GirlX2

-

To fully describe every nuance that took place upon Jack meeting Dana's friends would fill a tome longer than most of J.R.R. Tolkien's works, so I'll be brief. Ear piercing squeaks filled the air, temporarily deafening both captain and college student. Dana found herself backed against a wall, alternating between shielding Jack from outstretched hands and not getting trampled herself. Finally, she climbed atop the couch.

"If you two don't stop it I'm making you sleep in the loft!" Dana whisper-yelled.

"But-but-it's tiny Jack!" Al babbled.

"I'd appreciate you not using the word 'tiny' to describe me." Jack managed.

Upon hearing Jack's voice, the two girls squealed again.

"Dana, this is the single most amazing thing EVER." Mare said loudly.

"Shh! If my Mom and Dad find out I'm screwed!" Dana pleaded. The two girls quieted slightly.

"Is there somewhere we can talk without waking everyone up?" Mare pressed.

"My Dad's old office." Dana said, leading them to the backroom. It was filled with random clutter and old encyclopedias. Dana carefully set Jack atop a stack of papers. They wobbled under the pirate's boots.

"Ah…is this safe?"

"Its not getting any safer." Dana replied.

Jack was annoyed about this, but let it go. Dana's friends were practically salivating over him, which was making him far more nervous than his footing.

"Well, you already know who I am…" He trailed off.

"Jack Sparrow, the Non-Gilbert and Sullivan Pirate King, Captain of the Black Pearl, and the scourge of the Caribbean." Al said promptly, as if she'd been over all this before.

"Er…right." Jack replied. Dana's adoration for him was one thing, but this was almost absurd.

"Nice one, Lego." Dana shook her head.

Mare was looking over him slowly. "So…you already know about why you're famous?"

"Aye, Dana was kind enough to inform me that my legacy was so strong it was made into a moving picture." Jack replied proudly.

"A? Singular?" Mare quirked an eyebrow at Dana.

"I didn't tell him about _Fan fiction_." Dana hinted desperately, trying to shut the girl up.

"Wot fiction?" Jack asked suspiciously.

'You know she's been keeping something from you, this is probably it!' His conscious took the moment to interject.

'Yes, I had already come to that conclusion, thank you very much.' Jack though, annoyed.

"I'll explain later." Dana said. "Maybe tomorrow when I'm not so exhausted."

"Gee, your right. It's almost two in the morning." Al snapped out of her zombiefied state.

"Yes, and I'm exhausted. Maybe we could talk later?" Dana yawned widely.

Neither girl looked terribly happy about this, but they nodded.

"If you tell me this was a dream when we wake up, I'm gonna be very angry." Mare waved a cautious finger at her best friend.

"No, I won't. Any dues ex machien that's appeared in a crappy sitcom will not be uttered by me." Dana promised. She picked Jack up and exited the small room.

The Pirate gave a small sigh of relief. Dana had gone on about 'rabid fan girls' in the past, but he'd never taken her literally. Aside from actual foaming at the mouth her description was entirely accurate.

'And she said her friends toned it down.' His conscious added. 'What would it have been like if they hadn't?'

'I'd really rather not contemplate it.' Jack thought. Dana reentered her bedroom, leaving her friends on the couch.

"I know where to put you, but Will still poses a problem…" She murmured. "At least they don't know about him yet, or Al would have ripped me apart to get to him."

"Are you saying that she likes Will more than she likes me?" Jack asked.

"Well, not 'more' exactly, just…differently." Dana lied as she placed Jack onto the bed. Al had been a raving Orlando Bloom fan since his work on Lord of the Rings, and when the actor had gone piratical, her obsession had only increased. Dana was reluctant to tell Jack though, since he seemed to be upset about Will's fan base already.

The blacksmith was sitting in the same position he'd been in when they left. His expression had gone from dumbstruck terror to apparent blankness.

"Oh good lord, I broke the blacksmith." Dana murmured, lifting the wastebasket up. "Al is gonna kill me."

As soon as the barrier was removed Will jumped to his feet and began to sprint across the bed, away from the teen. Dana watched in mild amusement as he suddenly fell on his face, his heavy boots sinking into the foam pad.

"QUICKSAND!" He shouted.

"Jack, would you calm him down?" Dana rolled her eyes.

"Aye." Jack strode over the rolling green comforter to the flailing man.

Will looked up at him, new terror in his eyes. "She's booby-trapped the room!"

Jack grabbed his hand and hauled him up. "No, your just being a git. As usual."

"But-"

"Will, has she done one thing that would indicate that she means either of us any harm?"

"No, but-"

"And didn't I tell you she'd taken care of me for several days, and I came out of it unscathed?"

"Well, yes-"

"THEN CAN YOU TRUST ME?" Jack shouted.

"…I suppose I must." Will said after a moment.

"Good." Jack released his grip, causing Will to fall back onto the spongy surface. "Remember young Turner, I've been here before. I understand how things work. If you ever expect to get home to your fair lady, you'll listen to me for the duration of our stay."

"Elizabeth." Will paled slightly. "She won't know what's become of me!"

"I'll be happy to vouch for your whereabouts when we return. In the meantime I would like to get some sleep." Jack replied, turning around. He walked slowly back to Dana. After a few moments, Will followed him. Dana gave him an encouraging smile.

"I think I've figured out the bed situation." She said levelly, trying not to frighten the man again. She held out her hands.

"Excellent." Jack replied, stifling a yawn. He strode onto her palm, then sat. "Coming Will?"

"Ah…" Will looked nervous again.

"Its okay, I'll just…I'll take care of it." Dana set Jack back down, and hurried over to the dresser. She lifted the box room and brought it back to the bed. The chairs that had formally occupied half the room had been replaced with a section of padding and soft cloth.

"I only had one doll bed." She said in an apologetic tone. Jack shrugged, stepping into the room.

"I'm much obliged." Will said after a moment, and followed Jack. Dana walked very slowly across the room, conscious of Will's skittishness. After a few more moments she set the room back onto her dresser.

"I know this is really weird…" She looked down at them.

Jack shrugged. "Weird is what you make of it."

Unable to counter the statement, Dana merely nodded.

"Um…sleep well, I guess." She turned her back to them and returned to her own bed. After a few moments the light faded from the room.

Will collapsed backwards onto his mattress, emotionally and physically spent. This was not going to be a relaxing event by any measure.

-


	8. Chapter 8

"Shoebox of Lies"

Chapter Eight

By GirlX2

Thanks for the Schweet feedback everybody. It really does help!

-

"Dat takes care of one ting." Tia Dalma clipped the stitches short. Jack lay still under the needle, his shirt ripped away to expose the wound.

"So you can bring them back now." Gibbs looked relieved.

"Who told you dat?"

"Well…you said once Jack was stitched up he'd be alright."

"I said Jack needed to be stitched up so he wouldn't die. He needs time to heal." She said. "If we bring 'im back now he'll probably break those stitches open, either wit da strain of da journey or just bein' Jack."

"What about Turner?" Gibbs eyed the attacker. He was also in the coma like state.

Tia Dalma shrugged "Once we bring Jack back we let 'im decide what to do with William. 'E's special, but I don't want 'im to try and cut anyone up."

"Special?" Gibbs repeated. "Special how?"

"A touch of destiny is about 'im." She whispered.

-

Jack rolled across his mattress, still groggy from his late night of back stabbing and squealing teens. His hand connected with a distinctly face-shaped object.

"OW!" Will snapped awake. "Jack!"

"Eh?" Jack blinked at him. "AUGH!"

"Don't act so surprised." Will got to his feet. "You're something of a fright in the morning as well."

"Yes, well," Jack got to his feet and clambered over the wooden wall. "It's an experience I'd rather not repeat."

"Where are you going?" Will peeked over the wall. Jack leapt onto the nearby windowsill.

"_I_ am going to wake up our lovely young hostess." He replied.

Jack slowly walked down the strip of wood, and leapt onto the corner of the waterbed. The slow movement of Dana breathing continued. He arrived at her pillow and found a mound of curly brown hair. Dana's face was visible beside it.

"Hrm. What to do…" Jack tapped his chin in thought. "Ah. Of course."

He grabbed a hold of the nearest curl and gave it a gentle tug. "Oi!"

Dana didn't wake up so much as curl into a fetal position and groan. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Teenagers." He mumbled. He grabbed the hair again and gave it a less than gentle pull.

"Ow!" Dana sat up, sending the captain flying backwards onto the spare pillow. "What the hell…Jack?"

"Aye." Jack managed, slightly winded.

"Why did you wake me up?"

"Its already past six bells, how late did you plan on sleeping?" Jack replied.

"Until I woke up." She sighed.

"You'll never make anything of yourself with that attitude." Jack waved off the remark. "Besides, you have two lovely friends waiting for an explanation."

"Oh…bloody…hell." Dana hissed between clenched teeth. "Okay. I'm going to go explain things to my friends. In the meantime can you prepare Will?"

"Aye." Jack repeated, flashing her a golden grin.

"Good. Great. Fantastic." Dana replied in a monotone. "Sweet God, when did my life get this complicated?"

Jack wisely decided this was a rhetorical question and said nothing.

Dana got out of bed and picked him up, perhaps a little rougher than usual. This proved not to be a misconception when she abruptly dropped him onto the doll bed besides the slightly amused blacksmith.

"Any chance of breakfast?" Jack called as she opened the door. She shot him a withering look. "Just asking."

"Pirates." She grumbled and exited, slamming the door behind her.

"…And she's your friend?" Will asked after a moment.

"I suspect she wanted a bit more sleep." Jack said flatly.

"What are you going to 'prepare' me for?" Will asked hesitantly.

"Well, Dana has got some friends who'd like to meet you." Jack said. "They're a bit...odd."

"I don't see how much odder the situation can get." Will replied morosely.

"Apparently many girls here have something of a crush on the two of us." Jack said.

"A crush?"

"Yeah…Bordering on an obsession." Jack said slowly. "The important thing to remember is they won't hurt you, however excited they may get."

Will gulped. "I supposed it won't be so bad…Dana seems alright."

"I'm sure she'll be ecstatic that you've revised your opinion." Jack replied dryly.

As if on cue the aforementioned woman reentered the room with a shorter companion in tow. Jack recognized her as 'Mare'. As the girl caught sight of them, she gasped.

"WI-"

Dana's hand slammed over her mouth. "Shh! If Al hears you she'll kill us both! Remember, we're _easing _her into this."

Mare pulled her hand away. "Alright already."

"Why is another girl going to kill them?" Will whispered nervously.

"That would be to get to you." Jack replied. "As I understand it, _you're _something of a god to these young women."

There was a note of envy in the pirate's voice.

"Oh." Will blanched again.

"Um…Hi." Mare finally said.

"Good morning to you." Jack tugged the brim of his hat. "Marissa was it?"

"It was." Mare had the same look of pure amazement that she'd had the previous night. "Captain Sparrow."

"Jack." Jack corrected her. "Anyone who calls me by my rank the first time is enough man…er, _wo_man to call me by my onesies, savvy?"

"He really talks like that." Mare directed this to Dana.

"Hey, I was just as surprised as you." Dana replied.

"And you-" Mare bent down to address Will. "Seem to be freaked out, Mr. Turner."

Will mumbled something under his breath and nodded.

"See, this is why I wanted Al to wait for a few minutes." Dana said. "We're only now past the 'Giant Demon' phase, and her coming in and drooling over him-"

"Not to mention groping." Mare muttered.

"-Could do more harm." Dana finished, glaring at her companion.

"Thank God I'm not as fangirlish as you two." Mare replied.

"Fangirlish? Moi?" Dana looked offended.

"Please. Who convinced Matt to dress up as Jack complete with sword for three consecutive renaissance festivals AND get his portrait drawn in costume?"

"Er-" Dana began.

"The Whelp was trying to imitate _me_?" Jack cut in, a grin spreading across his face.

"Didn't Dana tell you? He does a pretty good impression of your voice and walk too." Mare added.

"This is fortuitous." Jack clasped his hands. "Not to mention hilarious. For all his grumblings, the Whelp actually admires me!"

"Oh God, Matt is going to kill me." Dana groaned.

"Hey, he wasn't the only Jack Sparrow at the festival." Mare shrugged. "Heck, the official one was pretty good."

"There's an _official _Jack Sparrow impersonator?" Jack was on the verge of squealing in glee himself.

"Oh yeah, and countless imitators. Everyone loves you." Mare said, pleased to be getting further onto Jack's good side.

"What about me?" Will piped up for the first time.

"No one wants to be Will Turner." Dana replied before thinking. "Oh…uh…sorry Will. It's just easier to act like Jack. He's a lot more distinctive."

Will seemed to deflate at this. "Oh."

"But if you want admiration we can bring Al in." Mare added.

"Not yet, please." Will looked a little less frightened than he did disappointed.

"So people dress and act like me at this wossname festival, eh? Any chance of letting me go to said celebration to witness it?" Jack asked slyly.

"No!" Dana growled. "That's the last thing we need. 'Ooh, look everyone, its my fully automated Jack Sparrow action figure, authentically drunk on Ren fest beer.' That's gonna fly."

"You're no fun anymore." Jack pouted.

"There's a difference between 'fun' and outright stupidity." Dana glared down at the pirate.

"C'mon Dana. Those kids in the cupboard books took their little guys everywhere." Mare replied. "We're going later today anyway. And its PIRATE WEEKEND."

"Oh c'mon Love, that's serendipity!" Jack needled her.

"NO! Dear God, do you WANT to get caught by some unscrupulous adult and turned over to a lab, or are you just that short sighted!" Dana screamed. "I'm not going to put you in danger just so you can further inflate your ego Jack!"

Will watched in amazement as the sweet-seeming young woman turned into a screaming maniac. Jack looked a little shocked. Mare regarded her friend calmly for a few moments.

"Okaaaaay. Take a breath." She said after a moment. "Why don't you grab some chow while I introduce Al to Will?"

"You think you can handle it?" Dana asked, slightly placated.

"If I can handle your obsession with Jack, I can handle her obsession with Will." Mare said. "Besides, she's gonna have to leave soon, and she'll want to meet Will first."

"Good point. I forgot she's working there this weekend." Dana replied. "Okay, I'm gonna throw something together. And for the love of GOD, please keep her in check."

Mare gave her a thumbs up. "No problem."

Dana opened the door hesitantly. "Okay Al, you can come in. But _please_, remember he is not Orlando Bloom or Legolas. He's a very confused turn of the century blacksmith form Tortuga."

Will watched with apprehension as the young woman stepped in and laid eyes on him for the first time.

-


	9. Chapter 9

Shoebox of Lies

Chapter Nine

By GirlX

A cookie for anyone who knows where I got the title:D

-

Jack expected more squeaking from a pajama clad teen. What he got was a full fledged scream of delight from a girl in a period-accurate renaissance dress (complete with hat and snood). Will wobbled on his bed, coming dangerously close to fainting.

"Yeah, good luck." Dana mumbled and exited the room, thanking God that her parents has already gone out on the pontoon boat.

"Ohmygod, its Will Turner!" Al bent down to get a better look at him. "You're SO FREAKIN' HOT!"

"Um…it's a _little _warm in here I suppose." Will managed. This elicited further squeals from the blond.

"Is she touched?" Jack whispered to Marissa.

"No, just hopelessly devoted." Mare sighed. "Okay Al, quit scaring the tourists."

The glazed, crazed look in her eyes spooked the brunette teen slightly. Al wasn't actually drooling, but her mouth was hanging open.

"Al?"

"Wha?"

"Half a word. More than I expected." Mare shrugged. "Are you going to say anything else, or just stare at him?"

Al thought this over for a few moments. "Stare."

"Yeah, well, in case you've forgotten, you've gotta be at the fest in an hour, which means you've gotta leave in fifteen minutes." Mare reminded her gently. "So get your fill."

"Right." Al muttered. "Of all the times to be handmaiden to the Queen!"

"The Queen is attending this festival?" Will looked a little confused. "But we're not even in England."

"No-" Mare began.

"Queen Elizabeth Glorianna has complete dominion over the festival." Al cut in. "I'm her lady in waiting."

"Oh." Will bowed, flustered. "I had no idea that you were a servant to the Queen! Forgive me."

"She's not the real-"

"That's alright." Al elbowed Mare, smiling. "No problem whatsoever."

"The Queen is attending this festival and Dana still won't let us go?" Jack demanded.

"Dana said they can't go?" Al asked.

"Yeah, she's afraid that they'll get discovered and kidnapped by unscrupulous scientists." Mare replied.

"Uh…huh." Al said skeptically. "That seems rather unlikely."

"Yeah, but so do seven inch pirates." Mare said. "Dana knows more about this than we do so I'm going along with it."

"But its PIRATES WEEKEND!"

"That's wot I said." Jack added in. He saw very clearly where Al was going and wanted to help her along.

"I bet Will would LOVE to see the Queen." Al said slyly. "Right Will?"

"Um…yes, I suppose. Its not everyday one gets the chance to see the Queen…even if she is a good deal larger than yourself." Will mumbled the last part.

"Al there is no way Dana will let you take them." Mare shook her head.

"What if she didn't know?" Al winked.

Mare watched as the taller girl removed an action figure from Dana's rather full shelf and laid it on Will's bed.

"Legolas?" She asked, eyeing the blond hair. "That's not gonna fool her."

"It will if she can't see him." Al threw a small blanket square over the plastic. "And…lets see…Ah!"

She took an Aragon figure and placed it in Jack's bed.

"All we have to do is tell her they went back to sleep. Then you bring Jack and I'll bring Will!"

"And when Dana find's out, she'll kill us both!" Mare growled.

"C'mon, I bet once we're there she'll chill out."

"And-" Jack scrambled to keep the plan going. "_If_ she should discover us, she won't make a scene for fear of drawing attention."

"No." Mare crossed her arms. "I promised her I wouldn't let you do something crazy."

"_Let _being the operative word."

Before Mare could react to the sly wording, Al picked the blacksmith up and fled the room.

"Crap!" Mare chased after her. "Al, stop!"

"Oi!" Jack shouted as the two ran off. "What am I, invisible?"

The blond jumped into her jeep, locking the doors with her free hand. Mare banged on the glass moments later.

"Al, don't you do it!"

"I'll keep him safe." Al promised, switching the engine on. "And I'll see you there."

"ALYSSA!"

She carefully placed Will onto the passenger seat. The blacksmith was much to confused and frightened to notice the sounds of the engine. He stared up at his new captor.

She smiled at him reassuringly. "Will, I promise you, you'll be perfectly fine. You'll even have some fun, once you get used to it!"  
"I don't think-" He began.

"Don't worry about a thing." Al said as they pulled onto the main road. "I'll explain how it works on the way."

Mare watched in shock as the car disappeared down the road.

"Dana's gonna kill me."

-

BUHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Ha.


	10. Chapter 10

Shoebox of Lies

By GirlX

Chapter Six

No one got the Title refrence (although that thing about Aragorn and Legolas was a cool guess). It's actually the name of a Barenaked Ladies song (which is actually a group of fully clothed Canadian men). One of my most favorite bands. :D Anyway, here's the long awaited tenth chapter. Enjoy!

-

Jack glared up at the worried woman as she re-entered the room. "Wot the hell just happened?"

"Al kidnapped Will. Dana is gonna freaking KILL ME." Mare moaned, slumping onto the bed.

"Another instance of Will taking the top spot in a woman's heart. How very unexpected." Jack muttered.

"Is that all you're worried about?" Mare replied. "The fact that some fangirls prefer him to you?"

"Yes."

Mare rolled her eyes. "Okay, bigger problems here, including the fact that Dana is about to tear my head off."

"She'll only do that if she finds out." Jack replied slyly.

Mare took a deep breath. "I'm going to regret asking this…do you have a plan?"

"Aye."

Mare waited a few seconds. "Which would be?"

"I'll only tell you if you take me along." Jack replied. "It's a fair trade."

"You son of a-"

"Do you want my plan or not?" Jack cut her off.

"…Yes, damnit."

"Alright then. When Dana comes into check up on the situation, I'll say Will fainted from the stress and is now asleep. You suggest that I say with him while the two of you go to the wossname-"

"Renaissance Festival."

"Aye, that. Then you sneak me along and the two of us will get back young Turner while Dana isn't looking, and return home at the end of the day with you, savvy?"

"And you're not going to try anything funny?" Mare asked skeptically.

"Not even remotely humorous." Jack said seriously.

"I don't think it's a good idea that you come along."

"Well if you'd rather I tell Dana what transpired in her absence-"

"Alright! You can come. But so help me God, if you try even the slightest bit of trickery with me I'll…I'll…do something of a fairly unpleasant nature!" Mare struggled vainly to find a proper threat.

"…Right."

-

The psychological dust kicked up from being kidnapped had finally settled back down in Will's mind. He was taking survey of the wondrous carriage Al was piloting. The tops of trees were visible from the small part of the window he could see. Al was talking about all the shows and events the Queen's party would be attending while at the festival.

"…And we end every day with a joust on the Field of Honor. Then we'll head back to Dana's." She finished.

"I don't suppose there's any real danger in that." Will murmured.

'Even if there were, I'm in no position to do the slightest thing about it.' He thought glumly. At least he was no longer to terrified to move or speak.

"The only problem is how to carry you around without letting anyone see you…" Al frowned slightly. "Will, if I had you in the open, could you mostly hold still? No huge flailing movements I mean."

"I think so." Will replied.

"Then maybe I can put you into the queen's basket, since I'll be holding it." Al said. "You'd have a great view of everything and if you needed to hide you could just duck down"

"Um…alright." Will said unenthusiastically. Al was much to excited to notice the blacksmith was still fairly disoriented by the whole situation.

"And I can slip you a piece of fried turkey leg if you get hungry."

"What?"

"You're gonna like it." Al grinned. "In fact, I think there are a ton of things here you'll get a kick out of."

-

By the time Dana had finished toasting the waffles and pouring the juice, Mare and Jack were chatting innocently.

"Where's Al? Did she leave already?"

"Aye."

Dana spotted the lump in Will's bed. "What happened to him?"

"Fainted." Mare replied. "The fawning was just to much for him."

"Well, I suppose it's the best I could have hoped for." Dana sighed, handing one plate to Mare, and a saucer with a waffle segment to Jack. The Pirate, already familiar with the edible delights of Dana's era, eagerly dug in.

"Hey, leave some of that for Will when he wakes up." Dana cautioned.

"Yeah, since you're gonna stay anyway." Mare added a tad overtly.

"I don't see why I have to stay." Jack argued, trying to gloss over Mare's performance.

"I'm not having this fight again." Dana replied. "And it's about time we got dressed."

Dana opened her closet and took out a leather bodice. Jack's eyebrows rose.

"Red dragons on black leather? Very stylish, might I say."

"Matt bought it. He has a matching Pendragon." Dana replied.

"May I at least see you in this outfit if I'm to be denied the festival?" Jack wheedled.

Dana sighed, but nodded. "I suppose I can give you that."

She gathered up a few more articles of clothing and accessories, including a plain tri-corner and an obviously fake (at least to Jack) pistol.

"Going with a nautical theme are we?"

"You haven't seen the best part." Dana said. She opened a small wooden box on her dresser and drew out a huge golden coin on a chain.

"Is that-"

"It's a replica." She replied, fastening the cursed Aztec gold around her neck. "I'm not gonna turn into a zombie."

"A wot?"

"Never mind."

While they spoke Mare had gotten her own renaissance gear together. "I'm gonna change."

"I'm not changing in here either." Dana squinted down at Jack. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Can't blame a man for his natural instincts Love."

"That's gonna change in nineteen seventy or so." Dan replied as the two exited the room.

Jack took the opportunity to finish the waffle and hide the saucer. It wasn't as if Will would complain.

After ten minutes Dana and Mare re-entered, completely decked out in festival gear.

"The sword is a tad overt, but otherwise you look suitably piratical." Jack nodded in approval.

"Coming from you that's a great compliment." Mare grinned forcefully. She was still pissed at the captain, but needed to play 'adoring fan girl' until they were at the festival.

Jack eyed Dana's pronounced cleavage. "_Very _nice indeed."

"Watch it." She said. "And while we're gone, just stay in here. Will needs to be filled in about the Dogs, my parents, and pretty much everything else about modern life."

"Aye, I'll 'fill him in'." Jack replied. He was starting to pick up quite a lot of her modern terms.

"Good. We'll be back in about five hours." She placed a plastic baggie with roast beef onto the dresser. "That should hold you guys over from lunch till dinner."

"Its much appreciated." Jack added, lying back onto his bed.

"Okay. See you later." Dana took one last glance around the room to ensure there were no overt dangers and left with Mare in tow. As Dana got into the car Mare smacked her forehead.

"I left my purse! I'll be right back."

"Uh-huh." Dana replied, occupied with finding her Wicked CD.

Mare scurried back into the house. Jack stood, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Wot took so long?"

"That was _thirty seconds_!" Mare picked the leather satchel up and held it to the dresser.

"Honestly?" Jack pleaded.

"I don't have anywhere else to hide you." Mare replied. "If you wanna go this is the only way."

Jack gulped. "I hadn't thought about that."

"If you wanna stay here-"

"No, no, that's alright!" Jack waved his hands about. "It's fine."

He stepped into the satchel.

"Okay, now just be quiet!" Mare hissed as she eased it to her side. Jack found himself jostled by loose coins and other womanly brick-a-brack in the darkness.

'Maybe you should have thought this through a little more.' His conscious spoke up.

'You have a very annoying habit of speaking about twenty seconds too late.'

'You know what they say about hindsight.' It responded cheerfully.

Jack sighed unhappily. This plan was not off to the best start.

-


	11. Chapter 11

"Shoebox of Lies"

Chapter Eleven

By GirlX2

Welcome back true believers! When we last left our heros...:D...What, am I the only one who reads Marvel comics?

...Dang. Anyway, here's chapter 11!

-

Mare tried not to jostle the bag too much as she sat down. She clipped the seatbelt quickly and placed the bag onto the floor as Dana pulled out onto the road.

'_Good news, she's dead, the Witch of the West is dead!' _The speakers issued.

"Wicked again?" Mare whined.

"It's my favorite show!" Dana replied.

"Fine, but on the way home we're listening to Great Big Sea." Mare pouted.

"We have an accord."

Jack, who was a good deal closer to the speakers, covered his ears in an attempt to block out the obscenely loud music.

"Bloody Hell!" He hissed. The singers gave way to slightly quieter music and he relaxed.

Mare and Dana chattered away above him. The car jostled him and the bag, making it impossible to find a comfortable position. Finally he gave up, and resorted to lying across a lipstick tube. Unable to find any other diversion, he listened to the music.

'…_Let us rejoicify that Goodness could subdue the Wicked workings of you-know-who._'

"Is _rejoicify _even a word" Jack wondered aloud as the music continued.

'_Like a Froggy Ferny cabbage the baby is unnaturally…GREEN!'_

"As opposed to naturally green." Jack rolled his eyes. This was sounding quite absurd, even to him. The story of an apparently Wicked green child born from a tryst was being told in song. It sounded like a fairytale.

'_Take it away. Take it AWAY!'_

"That seems uncalled for." Jack said after a moment. "It's just a baby."

'_So you see, it couldn't have been easy.'_

"That girl kind of sad about this death." Jack started to get intrigued.

'_No one mourns the Wicked! Wicked! **Wicked!**'_

"Maybe this trip won't be so bad after all." He murmured. "Nothing like a Wicked woman to provide suitable distraction."

Oblivious to the tiny pirate in Mare's bag, Dana chattered about all the things she wanted to see at the festival. Mare was only halfway listening, most of her attention devoted to making a plan to get Will back.

"We've gotta see the new pirate act and the raunchy puppeteer."

"We'll have to see Al a few times." Mare added casually.

"Well, yeah, but we're gonna meet up on the field of honor at the end. She's going to be busy with the Queen for most of the day." Dana replied. "Plus Matt and Ian will be hanging out with us."

"Do they know about Jack and Will?" Mare blurted out.

"Yeah, I told you about Jack being at their house last time, remember?" Dana gave her a strange look. "I haven't spoken to Matt since Jack came back though, and I'd prefer if you didn't say anything just yet. He's not as fond of Jack as we are, and I don't know how he'll react to Will."

"Right." Mare muttered. A plan was finally taking shape in her mind. "I won't say anything to Matt."

"Good."

-

At that moment the aforementioned brothers were also making their way to the festival grounds. Matt was dressed in his Jack Sparrow outfit, Ian in Scottish regalia, including their clan kilt.

"Dana isn't going to break down when she sees you dressed like that, is she?" Ian eyed Matt's outfit. "You know how upset she was after Jack vanished."

"I was going to wear my kilt but she said it was fine." Matt replied. "She's been in a much better mood since Mare came into town."

"Good, because as much fun as Dana can be when she's happy, she's equally depressing when she's upset."

"Dana's doing fine." Matt grumbled. "You should just consider yourself lucky that I found a girlfriend who takes nearly as much joy in making fun of me as you do."

"And you should be glad she hasn't also taken on my interest in smacking you when you say something stupid. Your bruises would never heal." Ian replied dryly.

Matt squinted at him. "You do realize of the two of us, I'm the one with a sword."

"And you realize that I'm the one driving and can easily crash us into a tree?"

There was a moment of silence.

"I am so gonna kick your ass when we go home." Matt muttered, turning his eyes back to the road.

"Try it pirate whore." Ian smirked.

"The line is 'A pirate! _Horror_!', and you know it!"

Ian snickered to himself. The day was looking good.  
-  
Al giggled to herself for what must have been the umpteenth time. Will fidgeted uncomfortably in the huge passenger seat, glancing up at her every so often.

"Would you mind explaining one thing to me?" He spoke up softly.

"Anything."

"Why is it that you admire me so much?"

"Because you're the elf-god of hotness." The words spilled out. "I mean…well, you're very good looking."

"I'm not." Will said, a blush creeping into his cheeks.

"Of course you are! See, it's that good-natured humbleness, your sweet personality and your looks that make you so awesome. You're so hot, and you don't even know it." Al replied.

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Saying what?"

"That I'm hot. I'm not running a fever."

Al giggled again. "No, 'hot' means good looking. As in 'Gee, that blacksmith is hot!"

"You…do know that I'm engaged?" Will asked hesitantly, fearing the statement might set the seemingly unbalanced girl off.

"Yeah, sure. But that doesn't mean I can't look at you, now does it?"

"I suppose…"

"I totally respect your relationship with Elizabeth." Al continued, not mentioning her fantasy about Will, rum island, and a starry night.

"How did you know her name is Elizabeth?"

"Didn't anyone tell you about the movie?" Al asked after a moment, giving him a sideways glance.

"Jack said something about everyone here knowing of us, but I have no idea how they do." Will said, confused.

"Oh boy. I guess I could explain-"

"Please don't. I'd rather not know." Will cut in. "As long as you respect my love for Elizabeth I don't need any further explanation."

"Well, is there anything else you'd like to know?"

"Actually yes."

"Yeah?"

"What did you mean by 'elf-god of hotness?'"

"Um…nothing. Minor slip." Al ad-libbed.

"Alright." Will decided to let it go.

"We're here." She announced, grinning. "In mere minutes you'll be enjoying the wonders of renaissance-era England!"

Will felt the vehicle lurch to a stop, nearly sending him onto the floor. He gave Al a nervous smile.

"Now as soon as I can I'll get you into the open, but until I get a hold of the Queen's basket, I'll have to put you into my bag." She bit her lip.

"Oh." Will gulped, his smile disappearing almost instantly.

Al held the bag up, allowing Will to get inside by himself. She slowly tipped it upright.

"I'll make this as quick as I can." She told him before regretfully shutting the flap.

'What has this girl gotten me into?' Will thought.

-


	12. Chapter 12

Shoebox of Lies

By GirlX

Chapter 12

Personal time update: As of this moment, I am in College full time, have a part time job at said College, and am in TWO community theater plays (Young Jane Eyre and The Wizard of Oz). I'm also going away for midwinter break in the upcoming week with the real-life counterparts of Matt and Ian. : D (Solid RPGing and Video games in Indiana!) What this all adds up to is the next chapter probably being three weeks away insted of my usual one to two, but it WILL arrive in march. ;) In the meantime, enjoy chapter twelve!

-  
Will spent what seemed like hours in the stuffy darkness of Al's bag. Just as claustrophobia was beginning to set it, the heavy flap lifted, spilling daylight onto him.

"I got the basket." Al whispered conspiratorially. She slowly tipped the satchel into its side, letting Will squirm out onto what looked like a rough bench. Around them were empty shop fronts and a huge stone wall. A few women in similar costumes to Al's milled around in the distance. Men carrying spears and swords also hung about.

"Where are we?"

"In the outskirts of Holly Grove. This is the entrance to the festival." Al said. She held up an enormous wicker basket adorned with ribbons.

"I suppose that is the Queen's basket?"

"Yep, container of the patented 'Tush Cush' and other Queenie paraphernalia." Al replied. She carefully (and with no small amount of joy) picked up the blacksmith and placed him gently inside it.

Will sat cross-legged on the cushion that filled most of the basket. A large bottle containing water dominated one side, as well as a few other objects he couldn't guess at. From this vantage point he had a fairly good view of the surrounding area while being below most people's sightlines.

"This is actually….rather nice." He said softly. Al grinned.

"Of course. When I said you'd have a good time, I meant it."

"Lady Katherine!" One of the girls at the other end of the space called.

"Coming!" Al yelled back. She hurried forward, swaying the basket ever so slightly as she did. Will shifted his positions slightly so the massive ribbon camouflaged him.

'Perhaps it really won't be so bad.' He thought, feeling a good deal calmer than he had since this adventure had begun.

-

Jack on the other hand was not having such a good journey. Apart from his cramped state in the darkness, he was having the emotional experience of a lifetime while listening to the CD. Finally, the car stopped and the bag was once again up righted, tipping him upside down inside it. He squirmed around for a few moments to correct his position. As he did, Mare had to restrain a giggle.

"When are Matt and Ian coming?" She asked, casually swatting at her side. A muffled yelp signaled she'd been on target.

"They're gonna meet us up front." Dana replied, starting forward on the footpath. Mare hurried after her.

Inside the bag, a now extremely pissed off Jack Sparrow had to restrain himself from taking his sword viciously stabbing whatever area of Mare he could reach. Instead he made a small slit in the other side of the bag, letting in some fresh air and daylight.

'This is intolerable. If everyone here admires me so bloody much why can't I just go out and see it?' He though in a tone, that if spoken, would have the pitch of a whining five year old.

'Because Dana said it was dangerous.' His conscious replied. 'And you know how much it bothered her when you escaped last time.'

'Aye, but Dana doesn't even know I'm here.' Jack grinned in the dark. 'So she'd have nothing to worry about.'

'But-'

'I've got along my entire life without listening to you mate, and I've no reason to start now.' Jack began to widen the tear.

After a few moments he could see a number of motored carriages lined up along the apparent path the girls were walking down. Other people passed by them, most dressed up as pirates. Jack shook his head in disapproval. No self-respecting pirate would ever look as frilly as most of these people did. The destination of all of them seemed to be a gate between stone walls that were highly reminiscent of the Port Royal jail.

"Matt! Ian!" Dana shouted and started into a run. Mare jogged behind her, hitching her skirts. Jack found his view shunted sideways, and now able to catch sight of the men. The Whelp was indeed dressed up a good deal like Jack. The pirate grinned to himself, carefully cataloguing this tidbit for later taunting.

Dana greeted the bearded teen with a kiss. "Hi honey. Were you waiting long?"

"Nope we just got here. Mare, good to see you." Matt gave the other girl a brief hug.

"Yeah, its good to be home." Mare grinned for real.

"Shall we?" Ian nodded to the gate. "They'll be starting soon, and I suspect Alyssa would like to see everyone before the festivities begin in earnest."

The others gave a general murmur of agreement and started forward. Mare carefully fell a few steps behind Dana and Matt, now in step with Ian.

"So Marissa, how's every-"

"When we get inside come with me to the broken pay phone." Mare hissed. "It's an emergency."

Ian stiffened. "An emergency like you've lost your purse or an emergency like Dana is carrying a live pistol?"

"It's neither, just come with me!"

The group hurried inside the enclosure, now facing fou-battelment walls and some shouting characters overlooking them. Matt and Dana walked to their favorite bench to wait it out. Ian and Mare quickly broke off and got to the deserted corner.

"What's going on?" Ian asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

"It's Jack! He came back and-"

"_You _know about Jack?" Ian broke in.

"Yeah I do." Mare sighed. "In fact, Jack also knows about Al and me. He's _in my bag_."

Instead of shouting 'WHAT!' as Mare expected him to do, Ian drew in a long, suffered breath.

"You brought Jack to the Renaissance Festival?" He asked in a tone normally reserved for when Matt's character did something extraordinarily stupid in D&D.

"Yeah."

"…I think I'm having a stroke in the left hemisphere of my brain." He said after a moment.

"It's not like I did it on impulse, okay? The bastard blackmailed me!"

"_How_?"

It was Mare's turn to sigh awkwardly. "Long story…"

-

After several minutes of reiterating the previous chapters, Mare came to the present moment.

"…So now Alyssa has Will and is doing only GOD know what to him." She finished.

Ian was massaging his forehead. He had a pained expression. "And Dana doesn't know?"

"No and if she finds out she'll freak out **and** kill me. You have to help me get him back."

"Does Jack have any ideas?"

"I think so." Mare replied, opening her bag. "That's how he blackmailed me in the first…"

Ian glanced up at her after a moment of silence. "What?"

"…Shit."

Jack watched the girl dig frantically through her bag from his vantage point under a nearby bench. He'd made his escape while she was telling Ian what had happened thus far. Her probing fingers discovered the hole in the fabric he'd made. Now Mare was cursing a good deal louder. Ian was scanning the ground for signs of the Pirate, but couldn't seem to find any. Jack grinned to himself.

"Now to see how many people here really do adore me." He took survey of the ever-growing crowd waiting to get in. Most seemed to be dressed in renaissance attire, but Jack could spot a few imitators here and there.

'How do you plan on not getting seen while you're in there?' His conscious demanded.

Jack eyed the large hoopskirts about him. 'I've got a few ideas.'

'Jack!' The horrified voice lashed back.

'Oh _c'mon_, there are so many layers of frills under those things I'd never even see-'

Jack argument was derailed by a sudden crushing pressure over his body. He looked up and into the face of a very annoyed Ian. He was gripping Jack forcefully.

"Captain Sparrow." Ian squinted at him.

"…Hello mate."

-


	13. Chapter 13

Shoebox of Lies

By GirlX2

Chapter 13

Well, I'm back from spring break with some new insparation, and a new chapter! Enjoy.

-

Marissa watched with no small amount of confusion as Ian suddenly bent down and snaked a hand under the nearby bench. After a few moments he stood back up, with Jack in his hand.

"You _spotted _him? Why didn't you tell me?" She hissed, lining up as to block Jack from the general view of the public.

"Because if I had it would have been too late." Ian replied.

"If I may interject-" Jack began.

"No." Mare growled.

"-I hadn't really done anything detrimental to the situation, so there's no need to spoil the day, is there?"

"You slashed my bag!" Mare fingered the rip.

"A tiny rip, easily mend-able." Jack said.

"Well, we're obviously going to have to keep Jack where we can see him." Ian sighed.

"And how are we supposed to do that?" Mare replied.

"There's always the Gulliver method."

"The what?" Jack and Mare responded together.

"In Gulliver's Travels when Gulliver was in the land of the giants he was frequently carried around by being placed in the front of a woman's bodice." Ian explained.

"WHAT?" Mare shrieked.

"I'm in for that!" Jack responded quickly.

"You would be, you pervert."

"I don't know how much I have to say it: Pirate!"

"I'm not putting him anywhere near my bodice. What about your sporran?" Mare eyed the belted-on pouch.

"Put me in that and there won't be any rejoicing come your wedding day, savvy?" Jack growled, noting the bag's conspicuous placement.

"Point taken." Ian replied.

"Okay, let's assume we're not letting Jack anywhere near our various body parts. Any other ideas?" Mare said.

"Hrm…Well, there are those drinking horns that people carry. If we bought one Jack could lay inside, be covered from a lot of sight, and still be able to talk to us since they're about shoulder height." Ian said.

"I guess that'll do." Jack said after a few moments.

"Those things cost _thirty bucks_!" Mare whined.

"I'll buy it." Ian sighed.

"Not that I wish to interrupt this moment of genius, but Dana and the Whelp are approaching!" Jack hissed.

Mare spun around, trying to block Dana's view of the pirate. "Hi!"

"What are you two doing?" Dana asked, stepping up to the two.

"Ah…" Mare stammered. "We're…just…talking about what I've been up to."

"Well the Queen is coming, so hurry if you want to see Al." Dana replied.

With this moment of distraction, Ian quickly slipped the pirate inside his somewhat-puffy shirtsleeve. Jack, finding himself supported only by a thin layer of cloth, quickly clambered onto Ian's wrist, and lay across his arm. Ian bit his lip, trying not to make sounds as the captain tugged his arm hair. Matt gave him a strange look.

"You okay?"

"Yes." Ian hissed. "I'm fine."

Matt squinted suspiciously at him for a moment. "You don't look fine."

"Neither do you, but let's not get into _that _right now."

"Whatever, lets just get going." Matt rolled his eyes.

The group hurried to get a good position as the Queen's entourage lined up at the gate. Al stood behind the queen, basket in hand, and beaming. She gave them a slight wave.

"They're gonna fire the cannon." Dana was nearly jumping with excitement. "It's almost open!"

"Okay Sweetie, its just the Ren fest, not your sister's wedding." Matt patted her head.

"Take it off or I'll break it off."

"Riiiiight."

Normally Mare would cheer on the verbal sparring match, but at the moment she was busy scanning Al for the kidnapped man. After a few moments her eyes lighted on the basket. She thought she saw movement behind its many ribbons. She elbowed Ian slightly and indicated the basket. He nodded in agreement while keeping his arm perpendicular to his body.

Still trapped in the swatch of linen, Jack struggled to see what was going on. After a few fruitless moment of trying to peer though the cloth, he risked letting go of Ian to make a rip in it. He could see the gates with great clarity, along with Will's kidnapper and the Queen. Suddenly the perspective shifted as Ian raised his arm. Jack found himself hanging nearly vertically off Ian's wrist.

"Stop wreaking my shirt!" Ian whispered while pretending to scratch his neck.

"Stop acting as if I were a toy and shoving me into various bits of cloth!" Jack hissed back.

"Alright." Ian muttered after a moment. "You have a point."

"You're bloody right I do." Jack said. "This is just getting silly!"

"It's only for a bit longer." Ian replied.

"Why's Ian talking to himself?" Dana whispered, nudging Matt.

"I don't have the slightest idea." Matt muttered. His expression brightened slightly after a moment. "Look, Alyssa is waving at us."

Dana and Matt waved back, unaware of Mare mouthing threats behind them. Al winked and grinned a little wider. Almost imperceptible, she moved the basket behind her large skirt, hiding it from their view.

"We think Will's in the basket." Ian muttered to his sleeve.

"Fan-bloody-tastic." Jack replied.

"Alright, they're opening that gates. Just stay still for a few more minutes." Ian lowered his arm back to its perpendicular position.

"Did you hurt your arm?" Dana asked with a note of concern.

"Ah, yes. An old…choir injury."

"Uh huh." She raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Look, the gates are open!" He pointed dramatically. Dana immediately forgot about the preposterous excuse and got into the line.

'Good. In a few minutes I'll be able to get out of here.' Jack thought.

'You're not going to try to escape again, are you?' His conscious asked hesitantly.

Jack grinned to himself. 'What do you think?'

-


	14. Chapter 14

Shoebox of Lies

By GirlX2

Chapter 14

-

After they made it though the bottleneck to enter Ian and Marissa quickly found the drinking horn salesman. Matt gave his brother a confused glance as he purchased one.

"What do you want with that?"

"I'm over twenty one and I enjoy an occasional alcoholic beverage. You figure it out."

Matt rolled his eyes, but let the matter drop. "Fine. So what does everyone want to see first?"

"What's the queen doing?" Mare blurted out.

"Hanging around the shops until noon, probably." Dana shrugged. "We could stop by the pendragon shop if you want to see her for a minute. I want to get rose panels for this bodice."

"Sounds fine." Mare nodded enthusiastically.

"You go on, I'll be there in a minute." Ian replied. "I want to stop by the armory."

"Hey, me too." Matt brightened.

"Okay, we'll meet up in twenty minutes outside the pendragon shop." Dana shrugged and started off. Mare gave Ian a desperate look and followed after.

"So, which place do you want to go to? Spikey's has really good-"

"Matt, maybe you should go with Dana and help her pick out accessories." Ian suggested.

"I want to get a new boot knife first." Matt replied.

"No, you want to see your girlfriend trying on bits of leather." Ian growled.

"Why are you trying to ditch me?" Matt demanded.

"What was that about leather?" An interested voice intoned. Matt stiffened visibly.

"Why did that come from your wrist?" His voice had gone soft.

"Um…"

"Give it up mate." Jack continued. "The cat's out of the hold."

Matt's expression turned incredulous as Jack wriggled out of the tear in the sleeve. Ian quickly placed him into the drinking horn before anyone else could see.

"How…when…what…WHY…" Matt sputtered, growing louder at each inquiry.

"Be quiet and I'll explain." Ian hissed, pulling him to an uninhabited corner.

"_We'll _explain." Jack corrected him from the bone cylinder. He was able to stand up, as it was tilted not to spill the holder's drink. "I have absolutely no intention of keeping silent now that the Whelp knows I'm back."

"When did that degenerate sleezeball get back here? How did he get back? Why do you have him?" Matt yelled without pause.

"Well, that last part started when Alyssa kidnapped Will." Ian said.

"_WHAT_?"

"This is going to take a considerable amount of time." Jack sighed.

-

Will peered early out of his basket at the fantastic wares. The queen was inspecting a shop filled with beautiful glass baubles. A man was blowing the gossamer liquid into balls as they watched.

"What do you think?" Al whispered.

"It's wonderful." Will replied earnestly. "Its very rare to see a craftsman of such caliber where I'm from."

"Yourself excluded, of course." Al smiled.

"My swords are hardly art." Will blushed slightly.

"Don't sell yourself short." Al replied. After a moment she broke into giggles. "Sorry. You know what I meant."

"Indeed." Will gave her a skeptical look.

"Oops, we're moving on." Al stood, easing the basket off her lap. "Off to the human chess game."

Will half sat, half fell back onto the springy cushion as the basket swung slightly. There seemed to be no end to the wonderful sights at the celebration. Street performers abounded, although most stopped for exaggerated bows when the Queen approached. The costumes, the artistes, even the food seemed to be designed to inflame the senses (Alyssa had slipped him a bit of soda to drink, and it had very nearly sent him into sugar shock).

Still, the vast difference in size was hard for the blacksmith to get over. Jack seemed to be used to it, and had no apparent qualms about being picked up and carried about. If anything, Jack was _thriving _in this strange circumstance.

'He does do well with peculiar circumstances.' Will mused. 'I wonder if he convinced the girls to bring him along?'

The others. Did Dana know of Alyssa's actions? Will shook his head. If Dana had known, she would have snatched him away the moment she laid eyes on the lady in waiting. Marissa _did _know however, and was probably plotting some way to keep Dana from finding out.

'Whatever does happen, I must try not to be seen by Dana.' Will gazed up at Al for a moment. 'She really is taking care that nothing bad happens to me.'

'For all your worries and fears, you're enjoying this as much as Jack would.' A small voice in the back of Will's head made an observation. 'Pirate.'

A small grin broke out. 'I've been called worse.'

-

Matt was now the one with an exquisite expression of pain on his face.

"I don't even know where to start. This whole thing is just so frigging insane."

"You could start by promising you'll not tell Dana, Whelp." Jack said.

"What? I've got to tell her!"

"If you tell Dana she'll panic. If she panics, she may inadvertently reveal what's going on to the general public. If that happens, we'll all be in very hot water with several covert sections of the government _at least_. Do you want that to happen?" Ian said.

"No…but I think she's gonna figure it out when she sees Jack in the drinking horn!"

"I'll duck." Came the sarcastic reply. Jack rested his arms on the lip of the flagon, leaning casually on it.

"This is all so very _very _stupid…"

"You'll keep your trap shut?" Jack pressed him.

"Yes." Matt replied, looking very unhappy about it. "But if she finds out, you guys tell her that I wanted to tell her, alright?"

"Aye."

"Of course."

"Good." Ian threw a suspicious glare at the pirate. "But I don't care for you blackmailing my friends Jack."

"_Captain Sparrow_." Jack replied. "Ye've not earned the privilege of calling me Jack yet, Whelp."

"And we're right back where we were a month ago." Ian held his hands up, trying to pacify the two men. "We'd better get moving so the girls don't get worried."

Matt nodded but still didn't look happy about the situation. He strode in front of them, muttering about the insanity under his breath.

"Okay, now everyone _but _Dana knows." Ian sighed, following his brother.

"It would only worry her." Jack replied. His new position finally gave him a good view of the surrounding festival. Ian's arm blocked a good bit of his view, but it also shielded him from the general public. As long as no one stared directly into the crook of Ian's arm, Jack would go unnoticed. "The last thing we want to do is upset the poor girl."

"Yes, because she'll be in a fine position to swat you flat if she does discover the plot, Captain Sparrow." Ian said dryly.

"_You _can call me Jack, lad." Jack replied, grinning.

-


	15. Chapter 15

"Shoebox of Lies"

By GirlX2

Chapter 15

Well, I'm down to one play, so my time is freed up a little bit. :D Next up, Wizard of Oz at the end of April!

-

Dana pursued the board full of replacement bodice bits, unimpressed. Marissa stood at the front of the shop, shifting her weight uneasily.

'Where the Hell are Ian and Matt?' She scanned the crowd as best as her frame would allow.

"…Maybe next time." Dana's voice snapped Mare out of her trance.

"What?"

"Maybe next time they'll have the rose panels." Dan repeated, joining Mare at the front of the shop. "Any sign of the guys?"

"Nope. Better use 'the Witchbox'." Mare replied.

"Right." Dana pulled her cell phone out of her bag.

"Oi!" A voice hollered out as Dana began to dial. "Hold up!"

Matt jogged to the steps, with Ian following closely. Mares eye's flicked over the drinking horn. She though she saw the top of a tri-corner hat peeking over the lip.

"You didn't buy anything." Dana observed mildly.

"To expensive." Matt shrugged. "There are other vendors."

"Let's see Rottin' Fred first, huh?" Dana pleaded, eyeing the schedule of events.

"As much as I love raunchy puppets, I'd like to shop some more first." Mare cut in.

"Yeah, me too." Matt chimed in. "I still haven't gotten my knife."

"Fine, we'll shop." Dana rolled her eyes and started blithely ahead, obviously annoyed with her companions.

Matt leaned down to Mare's ear. "_I know_."

Before she could reply, he had gone ahead to catch up with Dana.

"You told him?" She hissed to Ian a moment later.

"Jack told him." Ian replied. The pirate's head popped up out of the drinking horn.

"Aye, three heads are better than two, even if one of them belongs to the Whelp. He can keep Dana occupied." Jack replied.

"He won't rat us out?"

"I've dissuaded him." Ian nodded.

"Now, what are we _really _doing?" Jack asked, eyes gleaming in anticipation.

"Shopping, I assume." Mare said slowly.

"Oh." The pirate's face fell. "So, it's not just a clever ruse then?"

"Well, I'm hoping to get close to Al, but other than that-"

"Bah! You people have no idea about how to have a proper adventure." Jack interrupted, waving his hand dismissively. "Very disappointing, the lot of you."

"This isn't an adventure Jack, it's a rescue mission." Mare said.

"Explain to me the difference." Challenged the Captain.

Ian rolled his eyes as the two argued. "I could easily end this thing by going back to the car and shutting Jack in the glove box."

"That's another thing." Jack continued, ignoring the remark. "How can you say I'm not having an adventure when I'm this size? That should mean an adventure by default!"

"Fine, it's an adventure!" Mare threw her hands up in defeat. "Either way, it doesn't change what we're doing."

"Of course it does." Jack grinned. "For instance, I'm going off!"

The two watched in amusement as Jack jumped out of the bone cup and tried to dive off Ian's arm. The aforementioned man caught him neatly and held him up, now upside down.

"That was a poor escape attempt." Ian told him.

"I agree." With this, Jack drew his sword and jabbed at Ian's hand.

"Damnit!" Ian jerked his hand back, releasing the pirate.

Mare watched in horror as Jack fell. At the very last second he grabbed a passing handful of Ian's shirt, slowing his fall. He hit the soft mud with considerable force, but not enough to break anything. The girl darted down to retrieve him, but the Captain had expected this. He easily evaded her grasping fingers and ran.

His path took him directly into the small crowd of festival wanderers.

"Jack!" Mare screeched, starting after him. Here, the pirate had a distinct advantage, as the crowd was thicker in the midsection rather than feet. He easily skirted over, around and even under the shoes unnoticed.

Ian hurried after the two, but had even less success spotting the pirate in the crowd. After a few moments, Mare returned to his side.

"I lost him!" She looked frantic.

Ian pushed forward. "Well, we'll just have to find him again."

"How are we supposed to do that? He's seven freakin inches tall!"

This proclamation drew several stares from the surrounding crowd.

"We're trying _not _to draw attention to ourselves, remember?" Ian hissed.

Unbeknownst to them, Jack was watching from a nearby storefront. The pirate watched as the two passed on, still arguing about what to do.

'Now you've really done it.' His conscious mourned.

'Exactly my thoughts mate.'

'This is no joke! What if you get spotted? What if you can't find Dana by the end of the day? What if-'

'What if I drink you into oblivion?'

'…I'll be quiet.'

'Good.' Jack grinned. 'Now the _real _adventure begins.'

-


	16. Chapter 16

"Shoebox of Lies"

By GirlX2

Chapter 16

Sorry for the delay. My Tech week for Oz and my finials at the College both happen this week, so hopefully the chapters will come a little quicker once they'er over.

-

Jack waited a few more moments before leaving the porch. It was likely that the two had doubled back in an attempt to spot him. Once he was sure they weren't waiting to spot him, Jack stepped off the porch. The mud instantly engulfed his boots.

'That's not good.' Jack stared at the knee-high quagmire. He tried to take a step, nearly losing his boot in the process.

'How do you plan on walking though this mess?' His conscious asked smugly.

In a gesture that amounted to gesturing rudely to the annoying voice, Jack wriggled free of the earthen entrapment, and grabbed onto what appeared to be a gigantic wheelbarrow (know to us living in the new Millennium as a 'stroller'). He quickly shimmed up the wheel shaft and into the seat.

The Pirate's smug satisfaction at outwitting…well, himself, was short-lived as he came directly into the gaze of a two-year old boy.

"A pirate!" The tow-headed lad chirped.

"Yes John, there are pirates everywhere. Oooh!" His mother replied, playing along with the 'scary pirates' in the crowd. "You want lunch?"

"Yes!" John replied, sitting up. Jack stumbled backwards, trying to stay out of the boy's grabbing range.

The boy fixed him with a curious stare. "Hello Mr. Pirate man."

"Uh…'Ello lad." Jack replied slowly. Surly such a young child would consider the sudden appearance of a tiny pirate normal…wouldn't he?

"Wanna cookie?" John proffered a grubby graham cracker to the Captain.

"Why not?" Jack broke off a corner. It tasted like a surgery version of hard-tack.

"Are you a bad pirate?" The boy asked, nibbling on the cracker. "Gonna rob Mommy?"

"No, I'm not going to rob your Mum." Jack replied. Apparently, the reputation of pirates hadn't changed much in the last three hundred years.

"Oh." The boy replied, leaning back. " 'Kay."

Jack took note of the new area. They'd left the shops and were going into a large field. Horses stamped noisily in a pen about a hundred yards away. Several men in colorful armor milled around them.

"Look John, Knights!" The Mom pointed at the men. "You want to watch the joust while we eat?"

"Yes!" John squealed, and began to bounce up and down. Jack jumped onto the steel bar to steady himself.

'I'd better get out of this thing before the lad decides to play with me.' Jack frowned at the open field. 'No cover.'

The was one battered-looking tower in the middle of the field however. A few men sat at the top, seemingly observing the activity below.

'I could hold up in there for a bit.' Jack estimated the distance and people in the way, finding his chances favorable of making it without being spotted. The ground was much firmer too, ensuring he wouldn't get stuck. He turned back to the boy.

"Thanks for the lift m'boy." He saluted smartly, making the toddler giggle.

With that, he jumped off the stroller.

-

Ian's firm grasp on his shoulder was more than enough to make Matt follow his brother.

"What is it now?" The long-haired man hissed.

"Jack escaped." Ian replied quietly.

"WHA-MMPH!"

Ian's hand rested firmly over Matt's mouth. "We'll find him, you just have to keep Dana busy. Same as before."

Matt ripped his hand away. "No, before it was just stupid. Now he really **could **get discovered by someone who'll exploit him! It may be too late already!"

"Then help us find him by KEEPING DANA BUSY." Ian growled.

"No. She knows Jack best of all of us. She could figure out where he's gone, maybe." Matt replied.

Ian sighed in defeat. "You're right, but Marissa won't agree."

"I don't freakin' care. I may hate Jack's guts sometimes, but if he got hurt Dana would feel responsible. I won't let her get hurt because of the massive stupidity that's going on." Matt said.

"You tell her." Ian said reluctantly, knowing they would all face Dana's questionable wrath.

Matt nodded. "Dana, could I talk to you for a sec?"

Dana looked up from the rack of cutlery she'd been perusing. "What is it?"

Mare looked at the two, and turned pale at their expressions. They were ratting her out.

"Just come with me."

Dana followed her boyfriend outside, puzzled. "What?"

"Promise you won't interrupt me until I'm done."

"I promise, what's wrong?" She had grown worried.

Matt took a deep breath. 'Here goes nothing.'

"I brought Jack to the festival and he ran off!" Marissa blurted out, cutting him off. "And Al has kidnapped Will!"

Dana turned to her best friend, wide-eyed. "Y-You took…She has…Jack…Gone…"

The words came between lengthening gasps.

"She's having an asthma attack!" Matt cried out. He grabbed for her purse, dumped the contents onto the ground, and retrieved the inhaler. Dana snatched it from him and triggered a quick blast down her throat, trying to stem the panic-induced attack. Her breathing began to return to normal. Before she could completely recover, Mare began told the whole story of what had happened so far.

By the end Dana's head was down, her expression hidden behind her long dark curls.

"You all kept this from me for the last few hours…" She trailed off.

"We didn't want to ruin your day." Ian said lamely. "Matt wanted to tell you as soon as he knew."

"…And Jack's been gone for half an hour now…"

"I tried to keep Al from doing something crazy, really." Mare bit her lip. Dana's voice had become unreadable. "I didn't _want _to bring him."

"…And Al kidnapped Will, so God only knows what's happened to him."

"He's fine, Al wouldn't hurt him." Matt tried to cheer her up.

She looked up at them, eyes shining with tears and rage. "So between the lying and the kidnapping all you could do was keep me in the dark!"  
This took the three conspirators aback.

"We didn't want you to worry...or kill us." Mare said.

"Yeah, I can see why that makes lying to me about the two of them being in danger is okay." Tears began to stream down her face. She snatched her purse away from Matt. He looked at her, obviously shocked. "I'm going to go find Jack, and the three of you better stay the _hell _away from me while I do!"

With this she started off, not caring how the general crowd was looking at her as she passed.

"…Damnit." Matt said after a moment.

-


	17. Chapter 17

Shoebox of Lies

By Girlx2

Chapter 17

Nothing to say about this one guys, 'cept to forgive the latness. As it turns out, Shakespear is _not _easy to skim...Dang summer semester!

-

Dana careened blindly though the crowd, trying to spot a deserted corner where she could cry in peace. Unfortunately the festival seemed to have an absence of large, quiet wooded areas. Finally she settled for a small scrub of trees. Dropping onto her knees, the teen began to sob in earnest.

She wasn't crying for Jack however. As the events of the movies and his own previous visitation had proved the captain could more than look after himself at any size, at least for a little while. She thought she'd be able to find him, if not easily, than fairly quickly.

'They left me in the dark.' She scrubbed at the tears with the back of her hand, not making any real difference. That her friends had thought she couldn't handle the situation cut deep.

'_I'm_ the one who makes all the plans. _I'm_ the one who's been taking care of Jack. _I'm_ the one who let them all in on it!' The tears stopped as rage took over.

"_I'm_ the one who was there when all this lunacy started." She growled, climbing to her feet. "And I'll be _damned _if this little wrinkle is gonna break me."

Feeling better, if not forgiving, Dana strode off to find Jack.

-

The Captain was currently making his way to the observation tower on the jousting field. He'd managed to cut the distance considerably without being seen, but that couldn't hold forever. He thought a woman may have spotted movement in the waist high grass right before he made it to the tower. He skirted under the raised boards of the entry.

"So far so good." He murmured, watching the woman shake her head and move on.

'Yeah you're trapped under a porch. Real good. How are you going to get in there?' His inner voice demanded.

Jack studied the boards for a moment. "Directly, that's how."

He kicked at a spot that seemed identical to any other. The wood splintered under his boot.

'How did you-'

"Years of ship care. I wouldn't be much of a Captain if I couldn't spot rotting wood." Jack replied, breaking bits of the board off until he could crawl through.

The large downstairs room was uninteresting at best. A staircase led to the upper decks, and several piles of cable were seemingly tossed here and there. Jack shrugged, uninterested in the tubes and their purpose. He eyed the stairs warily. Some people were walking around upstairs, but he couldn't see them from the landing.

"This may be more difficult to negotiate then I previously thought."

-

Al glanced down at the captivated blacksmith. The Queen ad her entourage were currently watching a troop of dancers performing on the Lyon's head stage. Will seemed to be entranced by the movements.

"How are you doing?" She whispered.

Will looked up at her, a grin affixed to his face. "I'm having a wonderful time, Miss Alyssa."

Al nearly swooned at this. "You can call me Alyssa, or even 'Al'. No Miss required."

"Of course Miss Alyssa."

Al sighed in hopeless fan girl fashion at this.

'This is the best day _ever_.'

-

"Damn it!" Matt punctuated the curse by shoving his brother. "If I hadn't listened to you two-"

"-Do you want to fight, or do you want to find Dana and Jack?" Ian held off on shoving Matt back.

Matt glared at him. "I'm going to find Dana and _try _to get her to forgive me. You two are on your own." He started off in the same direction Dana had rushed off in.

"Damn it." This was much softer, and came from behind him. Ian turned to see Mare crying softly behind him. "This is all my fault."

"This is technicially Alyssa's fault for kidnapping Will." Ian put his arm around her shoulders.

"Well, if we're going that far back, we may as well blame Jack for trying to see Dana again." She cracked a small smile.

"It really doesn't matter what set things off." Ian replied. "What matters is finding Jack, getting Will back, and apologizing to Dana. I think we may owe her that."

Mare nodded. "Let's start back were we lost him. It'll give Dana and Matt some time alone, maybe."

"That'll be great if once they're back together she doesn't rip some vital part of his anatomy off and beat him with it." Ian replied.

"Hm. Better take note of where 'ye olde medical tent' is." Mare murmured.

Ian chuckled slightly. 'If Dana really is as mad as she seemed I'd better watch myself. She may not match Matt and I when we're playing video games, cards, or using the tonfah, but I bet she could do some damage with that purse if she really tried.'

With this mix of unsettling and humorous thoughts, they started off.

-

Matt raced down the dirt path. He didn't know where Dana had gone, but hoped to spot her by following the general flow of traffic.

'I should have told her about Jack right away. Figures listening to Ian would screw me over.' He frowned. He'd come all the way to the jousting green without spotting Dana. He eyed the speaker tower in the center, wondering if it would be possible to spot her from the top.

'Even if it was they'd never let me go up there just to look for her.' He dismissed the idea and went to pass by the structure.

A loud CRUNCH snapped his attention back to the tower. It sounded like something had broken. He walked back a few steps, trying to spot where the noise had come from. A few smaller crunches emanated from under the wooden porch around the door. Curious, Matt dropped to his knees.

It was all he could do not to yell out when he spotted Jack climbing into the building. He was behind the Captain, so he hadn't been spotted.

'What is he doing?' Matt wondered as the Captain disappeared inside. 'And how the hell can I get him out of there?'

-

End of chapte 17


	18. Chapter 18

Shoebox of Lies

By GirlX2

Chapter 18

Well, I just got back from seeing At World's End, and all I can say is: WOW. It was PERFECT. But don't worry if you haven't seen it. There be no Spoilers in these waters (This is still summer of 06, remember?). Enjoy!

-

Jack tugged on one of the cables that led to the hole in the ceiling of the tower.

'It can support my weight.' He nodded, satisfied.

'Why are you doing this?' His inner voice practically wailed as the Captain began to climb. 'There's no earthly reason to go up there!'

'No earthly reason, no. But there is a possible strategically reason.'

'What-'

'I can spot Dana p'haps.' Jack rolled his eyes. He was about four feet in the air at this point, and the cable seemed as strong as ever. 'I'm not taking unnecessary risks.'

'Hrmph.'

'Well, no more unnecessary than usual anyway.'

-

"Will, what are you doing?"

This caught the blacksmith off guard. He glanced up at Al, who was lagging behind the rest of the Queen's entourage.

"I'm just…stretching my legs." He replied lamely.

"Oh." Al looked concerned, but didn't push the issue. She hurried after the Queen.

In truth, Will was inspecting the structural capacity of the basket. It was fairly solid, but there were places worn in the wicker…

'You are _not _going to try and escape. Why should you?'

'Boredom.'

Will peeked out of one of the worn places. Surely a short walk the next time they stopped would go unnoticed…

-

Matt rattled the latch softly. It didn't seem to be locked in any serious sort of way. One hard push would do it.

'And once I'm in there I'll have all of thirty seconds to spot Jack, grab him, and run.' He frowned. 'Not good.'

"What are you doing?"

Had Matt not recognized the voice he might have babbled something about being a handy man and run off. The previous five years didn't allow for this option. He turned slowly.

"Hi Sweetie."

Dana had calmed down considerably since he'd seen her last (that was all of an hour ago), but her eyes were still a tad red. Matt own inner critic would harp on this later.

"Why are you breaking into the broadcasting tower?" Dana gave him a look of dull disappointment. She was too worn out from the walking to muster up a proper glare.

"Jack is in there." Matt whispered.

"What!"

"Shh!" Matt quickly placed a hand over her mouth. "Projection, remember? You're loud."

Dana removed the hand. Her anger was quickly dissipating into worry. "What the hell is he doing in there?"

"I didn't have time to ask." Matt said sarcastically. "But if you want him back, keep a lookout."

"Why, what are-"

Matt bashed into the door, ignoring Dana's gasp of horror. It cracked open, allowing the teen inside the dank little room.

"Matt!" Dana stepped a little closer to the door. "Get out of there before the Honor Guards come to kick your ass!"  
The bashing and the call quickly brought Jack's attention down to the doorway.

"Whelp." He grumbled from a few inches above the teen's head. "I guess you'll have to do."

"Jack? Where are-YAAAH!" Matt felt something drop onto his head. He blasted back through the doorway and into the crowd with Dana perusing hotly. Had either of them turned around, they would have seen a confused nobleman inspecting the open doorway.

"Hello Love!" Jack called merrily, hanging onto the Lad's ponytail as he darted amongst patrons. Dana grabbed Matt's shoulder's slowing him to a halt.

Dana plucked the Captain from her boyfriend's head.

"What were you _doing_?" She demanded, holding him by the scruff of his coat.

"Trying to get a better look at my surroundings and find you, what else?" Jack replied innocently.

"The hell you were." Matt rubbed the sore spot on his skull. "You were just causing trouble. As usual."

Jack glanced about. "Where are Ian and Marissa? Surely they're still about?"

"I don't know and I don't care." Dana snapped. Jack looked surprised at this.

"What's happened?"

"You, you jerk." Matt poked the pirate in the chest. "Ian and Mare hid the kidnapping from Dana, convinced me to do the same-"

"I'm insulted that my friends think I don't have the emotional stability to handle something like that." Dana cut him off. "Especially considering _I'm _the one who took care of you the first time, _I'm_ the one who you snatched back to the sixteen hundreds-"

"WHAT?" Matt shrieked.

"Uh…" Dana was suddenly at a loss. "I guess nobody told you about that…"

"No, but you're gonna!"

Jack, finding the raging teenage emotions were momentarily not directed at him, crept into the leather pouch Dana was holding.

'Best wait this out where Dana can't dash me onto the ground.' Jack watched as the two took turns looking alternatively horrified and amazed. 'Wonder if she's got any thing to drink?"

-

End of Chapter 18


	19. Chapter 19

Shoebox of Lies

By GirlX2

Chapter 19

-

'Don't do it! You'll be sorry!'

Will glanced longingly at the ground. 'A few minutes won't hurt.'

The blacksmith slid through the worn patch in the basket, unraveling a long bit of the wicker as he went. Al's attention was engaged with the performing troupe of Gypsies onstage, her favorite act at the entire festival. She would be watching them for at least five minutes more.

Will thumped onto the ground and hastily verified that no one was looking in his direction. He was currently under a long wooden slab that was serving as a bench. The Queen sat close by.

Will navigated his way forward several paces, dodging sets of boots and the occasional hoopskirt. He couldn't see the troupe onstage, but could hear the music. He smiled slightly to himself.

'Okay, you've been on the ground. Best go back to Miss Alyssa now.' The voice nagged nervously.

'Just another minute.' Will leaned against the leg of the bench. 'I just want to have a moment to myself.'

He listened to the music.

-

"Okay, so we're both going to forget the preceding day happened?"

"Deal."

The couple shook on this. Matt drew her into a kiss, nearly making her drop the leather pouch that contained Jack.

"Oy, stoppit you two!" Jack yelled, pushing the flap back. "This is not conducive to the situation!"

"Says you." Matt grinned toothily, not taking his eyes off Dana.

"_Later_." She winked, "Once we get Will back from Al."

"Oh good Lord, preserve me from young love." Jack groaned.

Dana favored him with a small smile, apparently having forgiven the Pirate for…well, being himself. "Keep your hair on Jack. We're gonna go grab Will then get out of here. No muss, no fuss."

"Right." If Jack was confused by the slang he didn't show it.

"C'mere." Dana lifted him out of the pouch and placed him in her Pirate hat. "If anyone sees you I'll just say you're an action figure."

"Getting a little less paranoid, are we?"

"Hey, if you haven't been discovered after the stuff you've already pulled today, I figure we're good." Dana replied.

"Wow." Matt whistled. "You _are _loosening up."

"You say that at any other time and I'll kick your ass."

Jack leaned on the brim of her hat, noting it was not as fine as his own headgear. "Right then. Onward to rescue the Whelp from the clutches of a beautiful, yet obsessive, fan girl!"

"If only I hadn't heard that more than once today." Matt muttered.

-

'Please, it's been almost ten minutes! Go back to her.' The voice was nearing hystericality.

"Alright." Will murmured aloud, regretfully making his way back to Miss Alyssa. He was really enjoying being in the open. The basket was…nice (as was the notion of her taking such painstaking care of him) but it did get dull after a while.

He stopped at the hoopskirt hemline and glanced about for the strip of Wicker. It didn't appear to be there.

"What?" Will murmured, looking upwards for it.

The skirt led up to a woman who was definitely _not _Alyssa. The woman before him was at least thirty, redheaded, and very thin. She appeared to be another member of the cast, but wasn't part of the Queen's group.

'She's gone!'

'I'm sure I just missed her…' Will glanced about, trying to quell the panicking voice. There appeared to be no other hoopskirts in the area.

'…Or not.'

'I _told _you you'd be sorry.'

-

Al was actually playing her part as the Queen's attendant for the crowd. The King of Spain had accosted the Queen (yet again). She has set the basket on a nearby platform, whispering into it that she wouldn't be long.

'I hope Will doesn't freak out.' She watched the Queen intently. 'He may think the Queen is in real danger!'

Has she known Will wasn't witnessing said event, it wouldn't have made her feel any better…

-


	20. Chapter 20

Shoebox of Lies, Chapter 20

By GirlX2

Yeah, I'm not going to explain or apologize for the length of time this has taken. But I think it's time I tried to finish what I started. Hope you'll enjoy.

000ooo000

"There they are." Matt nudged Dana.

"Aye, Ian and Marissa on your Starboard side." Jack called down.

"I feel like a freakin' schooner." Dana muttered, now regretting her decision to let Jack out in the open.

Matt slung an arm around her shoulders. "Want me to-"

"If you start using double entandras like 'Raise the Mizzenmast' I'm gonna kill you."

"Um…I was going to say 'talk to them first', but good to know."

"Leave the raunchy sea metaphors to me, Love." Jack advised.

Ian and Mare approached them apprehensively.

"Are you still being emo?" Mare asked hesitantly.

"No. But pull this crap again without telling me and I'm gonna kick some ass." Dana said flatly.

"Uh-huh." Matt said skeptically.

"Wot's the plan then?" Jack asked, startling the other teen/twenty somethings.

"Find Alyssa and get Will back, same as before." Dana replied.

"That shouldn't be too difficult. It's almost time for the pre-joust festivities." Ian replied. "They should be near the field of honor."

"Okay, Mare and I will go there on this side, you guys circle around." Dana instructed. "If you get to her first, call me."

"No problem." Ian nodded. Matt grabbed his cell phone, ready to make the call.

"Now we're getting down to some real adventuring!" Jack said gleefully.

"It's still a rescue mission." Dana reminded him as they circled.

"Same difference." Jack replied. "I've already had this conversation once with Marissa, I'm not going to repeat myself."

"Look!" Mare interrupted the squabbling pair. "I see the Queen."

"And I see Alyssa." Jack spotted the blond several paces behind the Queen. He swung down onto Dana's shoulder, grinning. "Shall we?"

Dana and Mare raced forwards. Al had no idea what hit her.

"Insoo-MMMPH!" Dana clasped a hand over her mouth before the safety word could be yelled.

"Its us!" Mare hissed as they dragged her away. "Don't scream!"

"What the hell?" Al whisper-yelled. "I'm a little busy attending to the Queen!"

"Give us Will and you can continue to do so." Dana squinted.

A guilty look spread across Al's face. "So…found out?"

"Yeah and I've already been through anger, denial, and depression. Gimmie." Dana held her hand.

Al reluctantly held her basket up. "Okay."

"Oy, Whelp, c'mon out!" Jack revealed himself, pushing aside the curtain of Dana's hair.

Al pushed the basket top open. "Will?"

The four stared at the empty basket for a long moment.

"Oh…holy…hell." Mare managed.

"Al, if you've stuffed him into your bodice…" Dana trailed off when she saw the look of pure horror on Alyssa's face. Ian and Matt approached the group.

"What's going on?" Ian caught the looks of terror being passed around the circle.

"It would seem that the Whelp had escaped." Jack replied.

"What? I'm right here." Matt looked confused.

"No, the _other _Whelp." Jack snapped, gesturing to the basket.

"Oh."

The five stared at the basket for a few long moments.

"Lady Katherine?" The Queen called. "It's your move."

"Coming your majesty!" Al curtsied, sending a desperate look to her friends.

"We'll find him." Dana said quickly. "Just get back to work."

Al nodded and hurried after the monarch.

"Lovely woman." Jack watched her go.

"Okay, not the time to start showing patriotism Jack." Dana said.

"It may be the only time I _ever _do it."

"Insta-Migrane. Just add mini-pirates." Dana groaned, rubbing her forehead.

"Well, should we split up again and attempt to track Will down?" Ian asked. "Unless anyone has a better idea." This was directed at Jack.

"Fresh out." Jack shrugged. "Do what you will, and I'll make brilliant compromises as we go."

"Wonderful." Mare muttered as the group split.

000ooo000

Will dodged the wheels of the giant pickle cart as it rolled past, landing in a conveniently placed mud puddle. He sputtered, trying to get the vile substance out of his mouth.

After Alyssa had gone off without him Will had decided to try and find her himself. Thus far he'd had zero luck finding her almost been stepped on any number of times.

"This isn't going well." The muddy blacksmith muttered. He struggled out of the swampy patch onto a bit of raised tree root.

"How does Jack cope with this insanity?" He said to himself.

'The Rum is suddenly making a lot of sense.'

"Oh…my…God."

Will froze. A very excited looking girl, perhaps thirteen years old, was looking at him.

"It's Will Turner." She whispered reverently, and sank to her knees.

"Um…hello." Will managed.

"OH MY GOD!" Now the whisper had turned into a full blown scream of delight. Other people stopped and looked at the girl. Will took advantage of the momentary confusion and darted behind the tree.

"So this is what Jack meant by crazed fan girl." He panted, heart racing.

Most of the passersby ignored the strange girl as she hunted around the tree, emitting little shrieks. It's by far not the strangest thing to be seen at the festival.

Will kept ducking and going round about the tree as the girl chased him. Running into the crowd would mean getting stepped on at the very least. But, he was quickly running out of places to run to.

"Will, I love you so much, we're meant to be together, I saw both movies a million times…" The girl babbled on about love, fan fiction, and a number of things that no girl that young should know about.

"What the hell-"

Suddenly, Will was snatched off the root work. He panicked momentarily, thinking the girl had caught him.

He was wrong. A man was holding him. He looked at him with something akin to relief.

"Will Turner?"

"Yes." Will tried to sound confident and failed. He tried to reach his sword, but it was firmly clamped to his leg by the man's giant fingers.

"HEY! Let him go!" The blond girl has finally noticed where Will had gone to. "He's mine! I saw him first!"

"He's a person. He doesn't belong to you or anyone else." The man said warily. "Now shut up and go away before I get out my sword."

"Oh yeah, like you really have a real sword." The girl snorted. "I'm soooooooo scared."

Ian motioned to the curious unbound scabbard hanging at his side. "Try me."

"You-You Pirate-stealing JERK!" The blond girl's eyes got huge and she took off into the crowd.

"Fangirls." Ian shook his head.

"Um…Thank you."

"That-" He pointed after the girl. "is exactly what Dana was afraid would happen, you know."

"You-you know her?" Will felt hope rise in his chest.

"You-you know her?" Will felt hope rise in his chest.

"Yes. But rather than get into any convoluted explanations about how I know her, and what's happened to you since you took off, we should go find everyone else. They're looking for you."

"Ian?"

"Over here." He motioned Marissa over. "Look who I've found."

Marissa clamped a hand over her mouth, stifling a shriek of joy.

"Hello again." Will gave a weak wave, suddenly very conscious of how filthy and ridiculous he looked.

"Oh, thank God. We thought you were dead." She whispered.

"No. Just…feeling a bit stupid." Will felt blood rush into his cheeks. "This was going rather well until I deserted Lady Alyssa."

"Uh-Oh, Al. She's gonna be frantic. I'll call her, you find out where your brother and Dana have gone too. Then we can get out of here." Marissa pulled out her phone.

"Sure." Ian nodded, and carefully placed Will into the upturned drinking horn on his arm. "Will you be alright for a few minutes, Mr. Turner?"

"Yes, of course." Will said hastily. Anything was better than being spotted by another young girl.

Ian pulled out his own phone. "Good. Because I'm not letting you out of my sight."

000ooo000

To be continued…I hope.


	21. Chapter 21

Shoebox of lies, chapter 21

By Girlx2

000ooo000

Dana grabbed her ringing phone, a hopeful expression on her face.

"You did? Oh, thank God!"

Her face burst into relief, Jack noted from his perch on her shoulder. "I presume by your jubilation that they've located the whelp?"

"Yeah. He's fine, you're fine, everything's…" The smile dropped off her face. "Hey, Ian, can you guys watch him for a bit?…No, no, I'm okay. I just want to relax a little, and if he trusts you.…okay, good. We'll see you at the joust."

Matt frowned at this. "I thought you wanted to get Will back and get out of here before someone noticed us."

"That did seem to be her intention." Jack agreed.

"You know what? Fuck it."

The two men stared at her in shock.

"Come again?"

"I came here to have fun, and that's what I'm gonna do." She glanced at Jack. "Hell, you've come almost 300 years into the future, and we're not gonna even TRY to live it up? Uh-Uh."

"Love, are you feeling alright?" Jake shot a worried look at Matt. This was weird, even for Dana.

"I feel great." She grinned a little too widely. "So lets go party!"

She took off running, Jack's hands clamped to her bodice strap, Matt chasing after them.

"Whatever 'as come over you, I heartily approve!"

000ooo000

The day flew by in a drunken whirl (at least for Jack). Dana dragged Matt and the miniature pirate through a mead tasting (surreptitiously snagging a sample which Jack nearly drowned himself in), puppet shows, craftsman exhibits, weaponry shops; everything the fest had to offer. She only came to a halt upon finding the crowing event of the day: The Jack Sparrow Look-alike contest.

"You've got to be kidding me." Jack, having picked up on another term, applied it correctly, in a disappointed tone. "These dogs look nothing like me. That one's wearing a wig!"

"Not everyone can be a pirate in real life." Matt muttered. He was getting tired, both of chasing after Dana and pretending her new happy-go-lucky attitude was normal. Something seriously weird was up.

"That sword is a disaster, that's an awful hat-Good god, is that a woman?"

"Jack, relax." Dana glanced around the crowd, but nobody seemed to notice her tiny companion.

"I thought this would be a _proper _tribute." The pirate whined. "It's just a lot of men who happen to have bad goatees and a sword or two among them."

"Welcome to the Michigan Ren Fest, love." Dana winked.

Jack crossed his arms, and turned his head, refusing to look at the mess of imposters. However, he wasn't pouting. Pirates don't pout: they fume.

"I thought you said their was an official Jack Sparrow. Maybe he's not a complete wretch."

"I doubt it." Matt pointed to the man with the obvious wig.

"Blast it! You're more like me than any of those men." Jack frowned.

"He's got a point. You do a mean Jack Sparrow, honey. Maybe you should go up there." Dana said.

"I'm dressed wrong."

"If being me was all in the dress, none of them have even that." Jack looked a little less annoyed. "Besides, I'd love to see this famous impression."

Matt gave him a skeptical look. "You won't make fun of me?"

"On my honor."

"So, you _will_ make fun of me."

"Just get up there!"

Matt rolled his eyes a little less severely, and got moving, in what Jack noticed was his own rolling land-gait.

"Not terrible." He admitted. "He's not the worst of that poor lot, anyway."

The two watched Matt flail, quote Jack, and wave his sword.

"The whelp's not really bad at all."

"Glad you approve." Dana said in an unfocused manner.

Jack tugged one of her curls gently. "Oy."

"Hmm?" She turned to look at him as best she could.

"Mahap now it's the time to tell me why you've had such a startling change of heart about having fun, come what may."

"I…I just relaxed a little that's all."

"Love, I've known you but a short time, and even I know, relaxation isn't your natural state." Jake said. "You've been hiding something from me since first we met-I think it's time to come clean. You can do it out of earshot of the whelp."

Dana's eyes darkened. "If you think it's going to be a confession of love, that ain't it."

"Wouldn't dream of it. All the same, I thought being alone might help things along."

She took a shuddery breath. "Remember when we first met, and I asked you when you'd reclaimed the pearl?"

"Aye."

"I need to know because…I know what happens to you."

Jack contemplated this for a moment. "You know me future?"

"Yeah. There's…there's two movies about you. And a third is on the way."

"From your expression, I'll presume things don't go so well for me in this second chronicle."

She nodded. Her eyes were wet with what Jack pretended weren't tears.

"I don't-I can't tell you what'll happen. I'm scared if I do it'll-wreak things, somehow." She sniffled. "I want to help you, but I'm just a coward."

"You're not a coward, love. You're trying to keep things as normal as they should be." Jack sighed, trying to sound disappointed while thinking vigorously. "I'm not going to ask you what happens. Or happened. Or whatever."

She looked at him curiously. "You don't want to know?"

"I do want to know. But I don't need to." He assured her, smiling as realistically as he could manage. "After all: I'm captain Jack Sparrow. I'll go on, come what may."

Dana let out a laugh. "That takes a load off my mind, Jack."

"Good. Now let's watch the whelp try to be me. Perhaps I can give him some pointers later…"  
Jack trailed off, deep in thought.

'You're not. You wouldn't.' His conscious piped up for the first time in what felt like years. 'She's your friend, and she trusts you.'

'Pirate.'

000ooo000

Tia Dalma stared at the wound on Jack's back. The scars were puckering under the potion she brushed.

"He'll be ready soon."

"And you can get them both back?" Gibbs looked reluctantly at Will.

"Aye, both. They're not dead, wherever they are." She squinted at him. "But Captain Sparrow will owe me mightily for all this trouble."

"I'm sure he'll be most appreciative."

000ooo000

To be continued...


End file.
